Friday, September 23, 2016

Mr. Kason

Trying to write a recap of a birth story 11 days post birth may make for a scattered story. But I can attest memories fade with time, so I'll do my best!

I had been feeling hopeful that this pregnancy I would be able to stay pregnant a little bit longer. In my past pregnancies my blood pressures started getting higher by 30ish weeks eventually turning into pre-ecclampsia which forced induction. At 33 weeks I was still having good blood pressures and was actually feeling pretty good even with those common 3rd trimester pains.
     I knew I needed to get ready for this guy... I'm not sure why, I just didn't have it in me. We didn't know what his name was going to be. I had bought some size 1 diapers since my babe's are nice and chunky. We had bought a car seat, but it sat in plastic with an un-assembled stroller in the corner of our kitchen. I couldn't get it to seem real.
     It was also happening during a kind of stressful period of life. Alex was starting school, which was great, but with his diabetes and recent diagnosis of celiac I found/find myself constantly worrying about what MIGHT happen should his diabetes not cooperate. I had to drive to the school everyday for the first week to test his blood sugars since they didn't have anyone assigned to him and THAT was fun. Meanwhile I was seeing doctors about 3x a week for preventive care. Medical bills were piling up. Our bathroom shower line exploded after slow leaking for who knows how long and got gutted because of mold.  Insurance issues happening left and right. September was turning into a joyous month ;-)

Anyway- at about 34.5 weeks my blood pressures started to get a little concerning. I felt a little defeated. I did my best to stay in bed hoping and praying they wouldn't diagnose me with pre-ecclampsia AGAIN.

Then came Sunday night. I was 35 weeks and 3 days. I'd been monitoring my BP's at home and they got to that dangerous level where I was supposed to go into the hospital. I thought since I was still so early that they would just give me some medication and monitor me overnight. I was delivering at a new (to me) hospital and didn't know any of the doctors.

So I packed an overnight bag. I had thought I wanted to go natural again, but was really worried this guy would be posterior like his sister. That makes for one painful delivery. Working on turning the baby was on my list of things to do that week. ;-) I drove to the hospital... leaving Ryan home with the kids, because I was sure they would just monitor me and send me home.

I got to the hospital.. they took my blood pressure and kind of freaked out. Labs were ordered, lights were lowered, IVs ordered... and they continued to monitor me. I let them know that in the past my BP's would go down, that I just needed medication and the Dr could send me home. BUT the on-call Dr. didn't agree and felt like it would be too dangerous to continue the pregnancy. My body was not ready at all. I wasn't dilated. No contractions.. not even braxton hicks. He wasn't in position :-( ... And I was sitting there thinking "Oh crap... we're not ready at all" I called my mom to come up to my kids so Ryan could come down to be with me. I think he got there around 7 p.m.  And that's when they started trying to induce me.

It took a while, and they used a few different methods. I finally started active labor Monday afternoon. It was a long night with no sleep. They broke my water around noon.  It had also been on my list to work on techniques for handling the pain of natural child birth... but never got around to that either! :-D

Around 3 p.m. the contractions were so unbearable that I was screaming and insisting I couldn't do it anymore. He finally started coming down around 4 I think. I was so exhausted that I stopped making noises. I just pushed and then passed out between contractions.  I just saying "water" to Ryan a few times and just pouring it all over my head cause I was so hot. I wanted to ask for a fan, but I was too tired to to form a complete sentence.

Anyway- pushing him out... I almost had him out, but the contraction stopped and I didn't have the energy to push him out anymore. His head was half way out and Ryan kept yelling at me to push. I wanted to slug him... I wanted to yell at the nurse to just pull him out, but I literally was so exhausted I couldn't form words.  The next contraction came and I pushed him out, but it left him with the biggest bruise ever on his forehead. Seriously, the poor kid looked like an alien with his blue forehead. :-( Sorry Kase.  But he was posterior which is why it was so hard to get him out. Grrr. I had an amazing nurse who I think stood there for an hour applying counter pressure on my hips and encouraged me. Such a blessing!

They put him on top of me while they assessed and delivered everything else. What a rush... it was amazing to have this baby on me. I just rubbed him over and over again and called him my baby, because he didn't have a name yet! :) They took him over and noted that his breathing was a bit labored, I tried to feed him, but if memory serves correctly it wasn't super successful. Ryan went down to the special care nursery with him so they could treat his low blood sugar, and get him on some o2. ... He was gone for hours!

My kids all being taken away to go to the NICU had been really traumatic for me. I had nightmares about nurses taking them away throughout this pregnancy. I worked my butt off trying to make it so that it wouldn't happen this time around. However, I knew delivering at 35 weeks there was a slim chance that they wouldn't need to take him. I expected to be more traumatized by it... but I was actually okay with it. I definitely had added strength and I'm truly grateful for that. Also, the nursery was new to me, and it wasn't as high of a level as the one my babes had been in before, so things were a bit more lax, and there will less babies... AND Kason got his own room.

Anyway- they put him on o2, but discovered during the night that he had pulled it out, and had not set off any alarms so they kept him on room air. They treated him with antibiotics which was a little annoying to me because he wasn't sick with anything, but it's a precaution I guess. He was also on a glucose drip which was also a little annoying because it made his blood sugars pretty high for a newborn. I did like though that the pediatricians came to my room every morning to give me an update on him. And I liked all of the nurses that cared for him.  He fed really well which I know can be a problem for early babes, and I think it helped him a lot.


On the third? day he showed signs of jaundice and desatted, so they put him on a low flow of oxygen. That same day they discovered my blood pressure's were not going down, so they admitted me for another day and added a blood pressure medication. On the fourth night, I was discharged, but did a hotel stay in the hospital room. They put him in the room with me so I could do a "room stay" with him on oxygen. That's when I had a mini panic attack because it brought back some not so fond memories of this annoying oxygen stat machine. Anytime their o2 levels go down it does this shrill beeping alarrm. I was alone with him, I was scared about doing this all by myself... so I had a little meltdown. And I guess when they brought him to me, they forgot to turn on his oxygen... so he kept de-statting  and I was worried the he was regressing and that we wouldn't be able to go home.. until I had the brilliant idea to see if his oxygen was actually on... ding ding ding!
(picture of his first night with me... and the annoying monitor!)

His sweet nurse came in at 4 a.m. to get his daily blood tests :-( and I got a phone call that his bilirubin levels had increased substantially and they needed to order lights for him again. This bothered me a bit because earlier that day I had told another nurse, who told the NP? that I thought he was acting really off and needed to be put on lights again. I told her that all my kids had to be on more than one day of photo therapy. But my concern was dismissed and I was told they wouldn't check his levels till the next morning. I probably should have fought it, but I didn't... and in the end it's okay. He got put on lights that morning, and was on them all day while I did all the training and dvd watching to be able to take him home. 
Finally that afternoon they took another blood test which showed his levels had gone down since that morning, and they let us take him home!!!

(breaking out!!!!!)... I have four kids! :-O 

That pre-ecclampsia I was diagnosed with didn't go away with birth as it had before. I kept feeling a bit off and was advised to monitor my blood pressure after I was discharged. Well, I did and my blood pressures were 180's over 120's. With the dx of pre ecclampsia and those blood pressures I was at high risk for strokes, seizures, organ failur and cardiac arrest. I knew the risks... it was Saturday night, we had just got home the day before.. I REALLY did not want to leave my babes again.
I called my Dr and sobbed and sobbed on the phone telling her I couldn't get my blood pressure down, but that I couldn't leave my baby and come to the hospital. She instructed me to take more medication, but unfortunately it didn't work. She called the hospital to make sure I could bring my baby with me to the ER and to stay with me if they admitted me. (I could as long as another adult stayed with me at all times). My mom drove up, and we left for the hospital around 9 or 10 p.m. 
They did an EKG, and ran a ton of tests. I guess my numbers were still really high because they put up the seizure bars and anticipated some issues. Fortunately my labs came back normal as far as organ function. And sometime around 4 or 5 in the morning I was allowed to come back home with an increased dosage of medication and some other drug they gave me through the IV.

And then it happened again on Monday or Tuesday. I called the Dr. to see if I could just come in and get labs done, but was told with the numbers that I was having I had to go to the ER right away. This time Ryan's parents were in town, and a lady in my 'hood had my back with getting Jayden from school. I cried a lot again... but not as bad this time. Another 5 hours at the ER and a new concoction of medications I was sent home.

It was all really frustrating. But I am very grateful that I wasn't admitted. Kason behaved perfectly both times. And Ryan didn't complain that much! :-D As of right now I'm on a few BP medications until my body can bounce back to normal. We don't know when that will be.But I'm hoping SOON as the side effects are not the best for me... BUT better than the alternative! I'm following up with dr's over the phone every other day, and being seen 1-2 times a week.  It is also making me feel at peace with this little guy being our last pregnancy! 

So we're all at home. Adjusting. I'm not sleeping, but this cute little squish is alllll worth it. I'm savoring his littleness. He seriously melts my heart. He's got one obsessed mama.  

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