Sunday, February 14, 2010

Hmmm... January recap?

A lot of stuff happened in January. I should try to blog more than once a month. When I'm not forced in front of my computer at 2 in the morning it makes it hard to find "quiet" time to blog. Yes, you heard me right... I no longer sit in front of my computer at insanely late hours, because... I quit!!
But that's just a small detail of the HUGE things that happened in January. Looking back it's all a blur. Where to begin?

Ryan started work the beginning of January. He was nervous about going back. I was nervous for him. A lot of things had changed. He was still contractor- but was hoping to get a government job. If you have not served in the military- it turned out- that it is next to impossible to get a permanent position. So anyway- he went back on Monday and just wasn't happy. He was bummed about not having the new job he came so close to having... work was really slow. He came home at 3 in a pretty bad mood. Well, two hours later his phone rang. It was the lady from Panasonic (Original company that offered him the job right before he was hospitalized- but could not hold the position for him). She informed him that they were going to post the position again- and would he be interested? Heck yes! Apparently the guy they hired in Ryan's place quit and got another job leaving the same position open. Seriously... miracles... They had to do the whole process over again (Bkgrnd check, drug, physical, etc..) So he just started the beginning of February and LOVES it. It really is a good job and we feel so blessed. His old job was really nice about it. They helped us out so much while Ryan was in the hospital. His last day at work I was able to go up and meet all of them. It was really nice.
A couple of weeks later the woman handling our workman's comp claim called Ryan. Let me preface this by telling you that we were convinced they wouldn't accept the claim. They had been so difficult to work with. And although our case was pretty convincing it was impossible to prove- or disprove. We had set up payment plans with the hospital, care center, and in-home rehab. And without going into too much detail we were headed downhill fast. With the medical bills, on top of lost wages, and my lack of income had workman's comp NOT accepted our claim- we wouldn't have a house, or cars in about... I don't know... 4 months? Maybe 3. I didn't sit down to do our budget (mainly because I knew it wouldn't look pretty) until after the claim was APPROVED (YAY!!!!) It is such a blessing... and miracle! that it was.
Now, about my quitting... Kind of a sensitive subject. I feel a lot of guilt for doing it, especially considering the financial situation that we're in. But I feel at the time it was what I needed to do. And it has been a blessing. The last 4 months life has been insane. A roller coaster ride and I never got a chance to really breathe. Jayden was suffering with asthma and with the Utah inversions it was getting worse and worse. On top of working until 3 in the morning Jayden would be up 3x+ a night coughing and throwing up.
Granted, Ryan was home during this time but Jayden would (and still won't) let anyone comfort him but me. I was completely exhausted going 110 mph on an empty tank. Right around Christmas the airline I worked for cancelled a lot of flights. People called in and chewed me out for ruining their Christmas vacation. YES- I KNOW I shouldn't internalize their screaming at me and calling me names- but with he mountain that was piling high on my back... I snapped. I broke down. I told Ryan I could not do it any more. I was gaining like 3 pounds a week. I wasn't taking care of myself. I was being a bad mom to Jayden because I was so exhausted all the time... It was getting to the point where I would dread working even 2 hours for the 9+ hours leading up to working.
I prayed about it. I talked with Ryan about it. And I decided it was time to quit. Had I sat down and done the budget I probably wouldn't have quit because I would have felt obligated to work. In fact originally when Ryan accepted the new job (prior to his hospitalization) we determined that in order to make ends meet I would NEED to work for another 2 years at least. So hence the guilt.
So I realize that a lot of people may not agree with my decision. But I am happy now. I have been able to take care of myself. I have been a better mom to Jayden. Hopefully a better wife... I don't know how we're going to compensate for the lost income... but we're trying to work on some plans:
- We've cancelled our land line- so please just call our cells. But not too much cause we only have 700 minutes a month!!
- We cancelled our TV... Friends, can I come over to your house and watch our shows!!!?? ... No- I think this will be good for us.
And we're working on some other things. I have had a lot of trials to help me learn faith. And I know if Heavenly Father says it'll be okay. It will be. I really CAN'T see how right now- but I know it will.

...What else?

Jayden is 18 months!! Old enough for nursery and is doing so much better in there than I anticpated.
He is still over 95% in height and hanging around 60% for weight. He is at the parrot stage where he repeats words he hears. I love it. He can play the wii fit plus. My 18 month old has made it to level 2 in the obstacle course!! That's my boy!
We got to go sledding for the first time last month. He HATES snowmobiles and four wheelers. Loud motors apparently freak.him.out.

Some really great friends invited us to spend the weekend up in their family's cabin. I was so stressed that Jayden was not going to sleep well because he has quite the history of being a bad sleeper in unknown places, but he did great! It was SOOO nice to get away from EVERYTHING for a couple of days. We really needed it. And I got to read the Hunger Games on that trip. Awesome. Thanks guys!!!!

So if you're still around... here are some pictures of January :)

(Click to Enlarge)


Malerie said...

i'm so happy to hear that everything is working out!!! The pieces of the puzzle are starting to piece together, what a great feeling.
When we lived with my sister, we didn't have cable... and seriously, it was the best thing ever. i was amazed at how many times we just sat down and watched TV. I learned quick how fast you forget about all your shows, and how much they don't matter... and if you don't keep up with them, you're still alright! Nate hated it much more than i did, but i'd consider never getting cable again. :)
Jayden is adorable, and getting so big! I hope only good things are in your future, you have definitely made your sacrifices... now time for blessings! you guys are an amazing family. i hope you continue to have this much faith always, it's such an example to me!

jaimie said...

I'm so happy that things are looking up for you guys TIff. I'm certain that you are going to love not working and taking care of your baby. love ya!

Marianne said...

I am so glad to hear that things are working out for you guys! And I don't think anyone would judge you for not working. Jayden needs you right now. There will be plenty of time to work and pay off the debt later. You can come over and watch tv anytime- James is working late every night until April 15th, so I'm at home and probably lonely so just give me a call! The kids would love to play with Jayden.

jamirodana said...

I think quitting was a great thing to do:) Living a life of major stress cannot be good for anyone in so many ways!
I think you guys are special!
I'm so glad things are working out and let me know if I can do anything......ever.

Erica Lyn said...

I'm glad all the good stuff is finally catching up with you guys :) Cute photos. And did you like Hunger Games? We have Catching Fire if you want to read it.. Nick and I are really into it.. although, we're at odds about Gale and Peeta ;)

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