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Saturday, February 2, 2008

Our news...

A while back I had posted 'seven things you may not know about me..' or something along those lines... I mentioned Ryan and I had a secret that we couldn't talk about for a few months... well- we can talk about it now!!!
Yup that's mine!
Instead of going through all the... explaining again- yes we were in the adoption process... yes this is unexpected.. I'm going to copy my initial reaction three days after we found out:

Dec. 17th 2007

"Ryan and I are in the adoption process. We're actually going to be approved on Wednesday. We are in the adoption process for a few reasons.

1) Ryan's reproductive nerve was destroyed during his colonectomy. So we were basically told it was IMPOSSIBLE for us to get pregnant naturally. We could probably get pregnant through artificial insemination, BUT.. it was kind of costly, and the chances weren't super high since it was likely his urine destroyed the sperm before it was any good.

2) I am diabetic. If I were to get pregnant I would have to PLAN and be in freakish control of my diabetes. I would need to start preparing 3 months prior to keep my blood sugars in perfect levels- and would ESPECIALLY need to do so during the first trimester or there would be a 5-10% chance that there would be serious problems with me and/or the baby. Then a 10-20% chance for miscarriage. Anyway- huge risks and I have not been able to be in great control of my diabetes so we opted for adoption first.

Well... on Thursday the 13th of December I was vaguely aware that I was about 20 days late for my period. I wasn't freaking out or anything because I KNEW I couldn't get pregnant. That day I was going to drive 50 minutes down to my Grandma's house to make cookies. I stopped by the grocery store that morning to pick up some baking supplies and decided to buy a pregnancy test "just to make sure". I bought the cheapest one there was, and started to rationalize how I would explain to Ryan WHY I bought a pregnancy test if we both knew I couldn't get pregnant.
Anyway- went down to my Grandma's house, and started making cookies with my mom and my aunt. We were talking about the adoption process and my aunt made the comment, "I know of a lot of people who start the adoption process- and then get pregnant." I laughed and said "That's funny cause I'm 20 days late for my period.. I just bought a pregnancy test. But it's impossible- I've just been stressed and feeling sick..." I think you know where this is going...

We had lunch, and I had to use the restroom so I just brought my pregnancy test in with me. My grandma had a container full of dixie cups... Well I sat there for three minutes laughing at myself for being so "dumb" as to buy a pregnancy test. I went to wash my hands and the line was facing the wrong way... with a very faint line across it... seemingly the sign that meant you were pregnant according the package. I started to cry.. fear, disbelief, doubt, excitement.. all these emotions running through me 10 million times a second... I yelled for my mom. I must have sounded a little hoarse- and according to my mom "looked like I had just seen a ghost". She and my aunt came running. I was shaking SO bad trying to show them the pregnancy test to see if THEY thought it looked positive. The line was there.. but it was faint... a typical cheap pregnancy test. My Aunt ran out of the bathroom and to the store to buy me "an expensive pregnanch test.

I had to keep repeating to myself "I'm not pregnant.. it's impossible.. oh my gosh what if I am" It was the longest ten minutes of my life and I downed about 8 glasses of water. I tried calling Ryan but typical boy doesn't bring his phone into work with him. My aunt brought home "clearblue" a digital test that simply says "pregnant" or "not pregnant". Simple enough. And I went into the bathroom to confirm I wasn't pregnant. ...1 minute later... "PREGNANT" in big bold digital letters displayed accross the screen. OH MY GOSH!!!!! I took it out and showed everyone. We all just kind of froze, and then it was "It's a miracle" "How amazing" "How did this happen?"

The rest of the day is a blur. I kept trying to call Ryan. For three hours I tried until he finally got off work. He was in disbelief, but impressed that his little men conquered the odds (I love my boy). I remember driving home in a complete daze. I called the doctor and set up an appointment for Monday... I was so out of it I drove in the carpool lane for about 15 minutes before I even realized it. (Oh well- technically TWO people were in the car- if a cop had pulled me over I had the pregnancy test on hand to prove it).

I didn't sleep for three days. I tried- I really did. I was EXHAUSTED but I was in shock. Life seemed to slow down. I was scared. Scared because I was 7 1/2 weeks along and had not been in good control of my diabetes. I am of course very excited. The thought of being pregnant- and the knowledge of this amazing miracle - totally awesome.

Anyway- here I am today. I'm 8 weeks pregnant :) As of last night I was finally able to sleep without any trouble. I'm nervous as to whether or not everything will turn out okay- but I have faith that the Lord's will ... well, of course it will be done."


So the due date is Aug. 9th. I will most likely be induced on the 26th of July since I'm high risk. We're finding out the sex on the 20th of this month. Since finding out I have been in VERY tight control of my diabetes. At this point it has been very successful. We have had two ultrasounds and both the baby seemed to be doing well. NO MORNING SICKNESS!!! woohoo! I still have a hard time believing it's real. We're both in.. shock?
And we're definitely planning on adoption for our second little person :)
Here's a big belly shot... I've gained two pant sizes... :( This is one day shy of 13 weeks.

5 comments:

Tricia said...

Wow! What a miracle. Congratulations!! We are so excited for you both.

Jed and Sabrina said...

Thats awesome, congratulations, its the best thing in the world! lucky you, not sick no fair!
I can't believe your already showing at only 8 weeks that crazy!
Glad you found us, another blogger friend!

Jackie said...

You look fantastic and I am so happy for you!

JenG said...

Congrats!

emily Redd said...

I love the picture of your belly (except you still look so teeny tiny if you can even call it a belly). I'm also loving the pic of the actual stick, I hope you keep it forever!