Ryan, Tiffany, Jayden & Alex

My BABY turns ONE

2012-01-05T21:02:00.000-07:00

The day has arrived. My sweet little man turned one today. I can't believe how grown up he is all of a sudden. It may be because my cousin in law just brought her sweet 10 week old over to my house the other day. But he seems all toddler now and it makes me sad :( .
   *      Alex has recently learned if he screams and throws himself on the floor when Jayden takes away one of his toys, he'll get it back. This has created a lot of chaos in our home.
   *     Alex right now likes to walk, but still prefers to crawl. He is a show off for sure. Whenever new people come, he has to show off his walking skills and check everyone out for their reaction.
   *     He has a wonderful cheesy grin that I have yet to capture a picture of. But it melts my heart every.single.time.
Confession of a bad mom: I turned his car seat around. I'm sure if the "recommendation" to keep children rear facing in their car seat until they turn 2 had come before I had kids I would be all for it. But Jayden survived. Therefore, I feel confident that Alex will be okay too. I know it's safer for him to be rear facing, but on our drive back from St. George I knew we wouldn't make it unless he had a change of scenery. I wish I had a camera for the first 30 minutes of Alex being forward facing. He was so excited. I had never seen him happier in my life. It was like I was bestowing the highest privilege upon him. He was laughing, kicking his feet and screaming in glee. It was glorious.
Glorious because.. Alex is still a complainer. This boy likes to cry. And still doesn't sleep through the night. Someday, right? Luckily when he's happy, he's really happy. He gives great kisses and hugs. He loves his mama. I'm really grateful for this bond I have with my boys.
*      Alex has learned to "Fake Laugh" ... and it is fantastic.
*      His favorite things to do are: Play with doors.
                                                         Flush toilets
                                                         Turn lights on and off
                                                          Push things around (he got a lawn mower, and shopping cart for
                                                          his birthday!)

Today for Alex's birthday he took a 3.5 hour nap. When he woke up we went to the zoo, and he LOVED it. It was 51 degrees, and hardly anyone was there. It seemed like we had the whole zoo to ourselves. Alex loved the monkey's, while Jayden insisted on visiting the tigers over and over again.

We came home for about 15 minutes and then decided to go out to eat. Bad idea. Tired kids+restaurant= bad combo. Luckily, it was just Denny's so we didn't fear getting kicked out. Haha. The little guys and I went into the car to watch 101 Dalmatians while Ryan finished his nachos.
We came home and Alex opened a couple of presents and had his cake. I didn't get a picture of the cake BEFORE, but it was cute!
Have I mentioned I really love this little man???

Happy Birthday Alexander! We sure love you !!!!

Zucchini Bread and Spoons

2011-12-18T22:40:00.004-07:00

Those are a couple of Alex's favorite things. Now, about the spoons. Some kids like binkies, or have a favorite blanket. Alex is obsessed with spoons. He sleeps with a spoon. I wish I was kidding. We have a spoon by every changing station in our house because it ensures he wont roll away. And you want to try to take his spoon away? Dont even think about it. If there are two toys that entice him- no worries! He just sticks the spoon in his mouth while he plays. He hasn't figure out HOW to eat with his spoon yet, but he holds it while he eats.
Mr. Alex will be 1 in a couple of weeks! On December 16th he took his first few "Real" steps. In the last couple of days he's gone farther and farther on those two feet, but still prefers to crawl to get to places.
Alex loves to climb. He will climb on anything he can. The bigger he gets- the more dangerous this will be.
He wants to do everything Jayden does. He loves his big brother. And gets the biggest smiles whenever he sees him. He still puts up with Jayden's "crap" (Toys being taken out of his hands and a constant basis) but I don't know how long that's going to last.
Last month Alex started giving real hugs and it melted my heart. I don't remember recording the age Jayden was when he hugged me back, but I decided to record this instance. He gives us nice squeezes, and when he's feeling done with a hug he pats us on the back.
Alex, like Jayden, loves to dance. He gets his whole body into it, and there's a huge smile plastered on his face the whole time. I love it.
As of today his only words are "Mom" "Dad" "Bye" "Bella". However, if "Hohoho!" counts as a words, we can add that too. Whenever Jayden does the santa claus laugh Alex follows with an accurate mimick.
He is still a Mama's boy. So until Jayden starts thinking Im not cool enough, I get fought over.
Alex loves:
Zucchini bread
Baths
Spoons
Ham
Chicken Nuggets
Carrots
Sippy cups
Cars
Phones (not the flip phones.. kids these days..)
And keyboards.

It appears he is starting to get an interest in Elmo, much to Ryan's dismay.

He still wakes up a lot at night, but the last few weeks he has been better about naps.

Im a little bit in shock that he'll be one soon :( My itty bitty baby isn't so itty bitty anymore.

I tried

2011-10-25T10:22:00.009-06:00

Well here we are, almost done with October, and I still haven't written about Alex's milestones this month. Oops. He's going to be 9 months old for one more week! That went by way too fast. The beginning of October I actually thought Alex was turning 8 months, not 9. Ryan seriously had to count it out to me on his fingers after he told me Alex was actually turning 9 months. Usually when Ryan has some sort of recollection with numbers, it's wrong.. since his strokes anyway :) Boy, did I feel dumb!
So yeah- Alex IS nine months old. Almost ten!
I won a contest that Mal Walker Photography did for a free family photo shoot. Yay! Love winning stuff!!! I will be featuring her talent! I think my boys are pretty cute. :)

Remember back at month 6 I said Alex was breaking teeth? No, thats okay, but I did. And I was wrong (dont ask me for advice, people!) Finally at nine months, a couple of days ago Alex broke his first tooth. On the bottom. Jayden broke his first tooth @ 9 months too. I'm prety sure it was the same tooth. I think it's kind of sweet they are hitting that milestone the same month.

Alex slept through the night THREE TIMES this month. Unfortunately Im so used to getting up at night that I still woke up those 3 nights and went in to check on him to make sure he wasn't dead. He was fine. :)

His fussiness is decreasing too. Don't get me wrong, he likes to complain. And Im sad to say, that he probably always will enjoy complaining. But he cries a lot less. Alex is 100% Mama's boy. I was really hoping to have one that prefers daddy over mommy. He gets very upset if I leave the room he's in. He isn't a big fan of me working, but his smiles when I come home are priceless. Ryan, however, can get that boy to laugh more than I ever could.

*At his 9 month appointment Alex was in the 90th percentile for height, 70th for weight, and the 40th for his head.
*Alex loves multigrain cheerios, applesauce and bananas. But he prefers milk over all
*He loves exploring, and recently figured out the process of climbing down stairs. Im grateful for that!
*Loves his brother, and has to play with everything he's playing with (Jayden LOVES that)
*Has a passion for cars already. He loves to push cars around on the floor while making car noises
*He stands, but is still just furniture walking.
*Has very ticklish feet

Jayden is the best big brother anyone could ask for. I have been so pleased to see how well he has taken care of his baby brother. He loves making Alex laugh. He lets Alex drool on him and pull his hair. He's always got a third eye out on his brother. Alex hasnt really gotten himself in any trouble because Jayen watches him like a hawk.

This little stud brings so much happiness. I love this age! The things he says, and how much love he has for us. He's almost two months into preschool and doing great. He's learning so much. Things I have been trying to teach him for months are finally clicking now that he's in preschool.

He's still dealing with the milk allergy, although he tolerates some things a little better. Preschool has been hard in that Jayden catches everything that goes around. He has been sick more than he has been healthy. A stupid little cold will wipe him out. Im really hoping he grows out of this asthma!!!

So all in all we're doing well. We recently got back from St. George. Unfortunately sickness was our companion on that trip. :(

We had to trade in our old car for a new old car. Transmission issues= not cool.
Hope everyone else is doing well!

Brag Rights...

2011-10-06T21:30:00.002-06:00

I was going to wait to do this post, but Im proud of what I've accomplished so far, so consider this my half way there post!
When Ryan was hospitalized in 2009, I lost a ton of weight due to stress. That was the only perk of the whole ordeal. It also was way unhealthy. I lost 15 pounds in two weeks! And I kept it off until January of 2010, then I think my body understood the reality of how stressful life was and I started gaining a lot of weight :(. Around March I decided enough was enough and started working out, and then I got pregnant. Not that it was impossible to work out when pregnant, but that first trimester did a number on me! Luckily I gained the same amount of weight being pregnant with Alex, as I did with Jayden. I lost all the "baby weight" with Alex about 12 weeks post partum, but still was not anywhere NEAR what I wanted to be at. So in March (I had Alex in January) I started working out to DVDs, and the Wii. I lost about 10 pounds. Then I hit a plateau, the plateau got frustrating and I stopped working out :( Luckily I maintained my plateau weight for the two months I stopped working out.
Then my great friend Tara came into the picture. She was a truck driver, and only home on the weekends. But two months ago they got off their truck to run their business from home! Tara was motivated to exercise since she had been on the truck for so long, and made the best workout buddy ever. Except she has 110% energy levels and totally left me in the dust. She keeps me going, which is just what I needed. Since I started working out with her I have lost around a pound a week! Without changing my eating habits (wooohoo!)
Two weeks ago I was bored and was browsing the internet. I was looking at part time jobs since sometimes I feel like I really need to get out of the house, and I saw a position for a fitness coach @ Curves which is literally right up the street from me. It was part time, and included their gym membership. Seriously PERFECT. My longest shift is 3.5 hours which is the perfect amount of time to get a break from my sweet boys. Plus it's only four days a week. I interviewed and got the job! So far I love it, the women there are awesome. It's basically a fitness center created for women. It is an hour and a half workout crammed into 30 minutes (think Jillian's 30 day shred), said to burn 500 calories (this is assuming you put some umph in your workout- I'll push you!). It's also cool because they have "curvesmart" which is basically a computerized personal trainer that will tell you if youre working out hard enough, or too hard, let you know what areas you need to improve, etc, etc..
I love it cause there are women that come in who are younger than me, and one who is 80 something years old, who was literally JUMPING on the recovery board. I sort of want to grow up to be like her.
Going off track... Im not getting paid to say this, but this month, because it's Breast Cancer Awareness month the Sign up fee is ZERO!!! (Usually 100). Only for October though. And the monthly fee is pretty good, feel free to ask me about it.

ANYWAY- Since March I have lost 6.5" INCHES on my waist, 7.5" on my stomach, 5" on my hips, 2" on my thighs, 2" on my upper arms. (I hate my arms). I want to lose 20-30 more pounds. It has taken me 7 months to lose this, but Im glad because I know it's the healthy natural way to do it. It just takes a lot of patience to reach your goal. But Im feeling healthier and I have more energy. As much energy as possible when you wake up every 3 hours to feed a cranky boy.

Im taking pictures along the way, but apparently after taking my before picture I stuck it in a word document, and deleted the original, and it's not allowing me to take the Word document copy and make it back into a picture. So in a few months I'll post my now picture with my after picture. I'll feel less self concious that way anyway.

Anyone who paid attention to this blog post.. thanks :) I'll do my monthly update post tomorrow after work. Cause Alex is 9 months, and Jayden is growing too fast!

Here comes Fall...

2011-09-04T20:20:00.005-06:00

August was a fabulous month. A great end to summer.
We started off the month celebrating Ryan's 31st birthday! It landed on a Sunday- and he worked Saturday night, so he came home @ 4 a.m. to this:

Cute, huh? I filled up the six little boxes with his favorite treats, and layed out my gifts to him around the sign. The letters are from the Wood Connection, I just painted and decorated them with my MIL and SILs.

We went camping. My first time to bear lake, and my first time on a waverunner. Most fun of my life!!! I would recommend it to anyone. Jayden did it for his first time too, with Grandpa.

Unfortunately Jayden, Alex and I got really sick the day we left. But after a lot of pleading prayers we started to feel better. My facebook page has more pictures of the trip. It was a lot of fun.

Jayden started preschool! He was so excited. He would ask me every day the week prior if it was time to go to preschool yet. Here is his first, First Day of School shot:

Isn't he a stud? He was sooo excited until he found out there were lots of other little kids. All through orientation he was glued to my side. His first day by himself I left him crying, and it made me want to cry too. But his teacher told me he calmed right down and did awesome. He goes again tomorrow, and is a little anxious that Im not staying with him. But he'll do great. He's growing up too fast!

Alex is 8 months old today! You have no idea how badly I want to say that he is now sleeping through the night... But he's not! He has been to Primary Children's Hospital twice last month to be seen about his anemia. The Dr. suspects he is anemic because of the all the blood they took in the NICU. I don't know. Jayden was in the NICU longer, and he wasn't anemic. It's frustrating to me because the iron drops is the nastiest medicine on the earth- and I have to shove it down his throat twice a day. I feel like Im abusing him. 3 more months, and they say he'll have an adequate supply.
At 8 months Alex is:
*Crawling a lot faster!
*He is starting to furniture walk, and I have mixed emotions about it.
*He likes to sneak up the stairs.. Im fine with him going from the family room to the kitchen but he goes up our long set of stairs whenever we're not watching him. And it makes me nervous!
*Alex isn't a big fan of baby food, he only wants to feed himself. Everything has to be done by himself. So he's on a diet of graham crackers, puffs, and whatever fruits and veggies we stick in those little net feeders.
*I don't know if this counts as talking but when he goes after balls he yells, "BA! BA! BA!" and when he wants me he says "Ma! Ma! Ma!" It happens a lot, but I think he's too little to be saying words, so maybe it's coincidence?
*Love his bath time. He laughs really hard when he splashes himself in the face.
*Does not like to sleep. He will attempt to stay awake as much as possible. Heaven forbid he misses something.
*He is just a busy boy. Always exploring.. sticking everything in his mouth. He loves his brother to pieces, and wants to do everything Jayden does.

I'm afraid one of Alex's purposes in life is to test my limits. I love him to death. Im hoping that won't always be something he does- I dont know how far I can stretch!

So, that's whats going on right now. Im really anxious for fall. It's my favorite season. Ive got a workout buddy and Im finally seeing results (Thanks Tara!) It's funny that Im seeing more results working out 3x a week, than I did working out 6. But Im not complaining!

Alex is 7 months old!!

2011-08-05T23:05:00.002-06:00

And has been for the last 17 hours! Look at me blogging on his monthly birthday!
This kid is growing too fast, I can't keep track or remember what's going on. He sure keeps me on my toes!

My little Alex. My dad used a good word to describe him, I thought it fits his personality perfectly. Intense.
You'd think, since Alex is my second I would be prepared for him. It's crazy how differently Alex is growing and learning than my first. I need him to slow down, but it doesn't seem he is going to be doing that anytime soon.
Alex has been crawling for a few weeks now. He doesn't like laying down. As soon as I lay him down, he sits up. It's making bed time pretty difficult. This morning he tried to climb up the stairs. (@ 7 months Jayden still wasn't sitting up... Alex is killin me) He hates crawling on tile so he sticks his butt up in the air and tries to move on it with his hands and feet. Not so easy. He keeps trying and trying until he perfects it. That's just his personality :) He's climbing on furniture.. already attempting to jump out of his crib.

He is still a horrible sleeper. And thus begins my slow decent into madness.... He's really going to need to start sleeping. He is so much happier now that we have found a good medication for his reflux. I'm hoping to be able to wean him off that soon.

Solids... it has been a hit and miss with solid food. He loves sweet potatoes, corn, bananas, and pears. Everythign else he gags on and spits out. Sometimes he does okay with solids, other times it causes him major stomach issues. So usually every other day I'll give him a jar until I figure out what triggers his reflux.. maybe everything does. I need to try to get him on a more consistent schedule with solid foods.

We took him to his six month appointment where he was in the 90% height. 80% weight and 20% head. We also found out that he is anemic and have been giving him iron supplements which are the nastiest things ever. I feel like Im committing some form of child abuse by giving him those horrible drops. It made me gag when I put one drop in my mouth, he is supposed to take 1.7 mls TWICE a day.. but I only do it once because I can't force that into his mouth more than that. It's torture for us both. We are going to see a blood specialist at Primary Children's hospital in two weeks to see if they can find a cause for the anemia.

As of right now it appears mr. A is getting four teeth. All of his fangs. I was hoping he would hold off on the whole teeth thing. Jayden didn't get his until 13 months, and it made the breastfeeding thing a lot easier. Oh well... he's handling it well!

A fun thing about Alex are his eyebrows. I've never seen a baby communicate with their eyebrows. But he does! He'll raise them both at you. Sometimes just one. Always in response to something you do or say to him. It's so funny to watch. I'll try to get it on camera.

Well this hasn't been organized. My ramblings late at night. Happy 7 months to my littlest man.

Look who's.... 3?!?!?

2011-08-05T21:43:00.006-06:00

It's still hard to conceive that I have a 3 year old. I remember when Jayders was just a baby I would nanny for 3 year olds and I just couldn't picture my baby ever being 3. Talking, manipulating, negotiating, yelling, teasing, loving.. and here I am.
Jayden turned 3 on the 16th of July. We talked it up a few weeks before. Telling him how big he was getting. I would always say, "I can't believe you're going to be 3!!" and he would respond, "Yup- Im bigger" ... "Yes you are.. yes you are.."
With all this talk of him being bigger it seems like he figured he was now entitled to things. Like sleeping 8-10 hours instead of 12. Like refusing to take naps because, "the light is still on outside!!!" Like letting himself out of his room and climbing into our bed when he wakes up at the crack of dawn. When just weeks before I was questioning morning preschool because Jayden doesn't get up before 10... I miss those days!! He is testing his limits. Which is testing mine. I can't count how many times I have had to lock myself in my bedroom and pray for more patience. Apparently I have raised a sass... I should have seen it coming, since Ryan and I are a little sassy ;) I guess we deserve it.
On the other hand, it is fabulous being able to have a conversation with him. I love hearing him talk and hearing his insights and perspective on life. Oh how he makes me smile. I know this is all part of growing up. He's not going to stay a baby who sleeps 12 hours at night, 2 hours during the day, and does everything I tell him to.
At 3 Jayden still loves dinosaurs. Not only dinosaurs, but anything that growls. And we hear him growl just about as much as we hear him talk. That's not to say he doesn't talk a lot... because he does. :) He loves to watch movies. As long as they have animals or dinosaurs in them.
Jayden is so loving. He's always concerned about how everyone is feeling. Randomly he'll come up to me to make sure I'm okay and ask me if I need anything. He has the biggest heart. He loves his little brother. He is always watching out for him. We had to put a lock outside Alex's door because Jayden would always go in there to make sure he was okay. Now, if Alex cries Jayden runs up to his room as fast as he can and yells through the door, "It's okay Alex! Don't cry. Mommy's coming.. I love you! Don't cry..."

Jayders loves to help. He's a great eater and seems to have a bottomless stomach. He starts preschool in a couple of weeks and Im probably going to cry!! His LOVES fruit snacks, animal crackers, and chicken nuggets. Broccoli is his favorite vegetable. The Elmo obsession has worn off, but he still watches an occasional Elmo's world.
We had a great time celebrating his birthday. Down in Orem @ Pirate Island with my side of the family, and at our house with Ryan's side of the family. I made a pretty awesome dinosaur cake ;)

There goes June....

2011-07-01T21:59:00.008-06:00

A few things to update you on!

We went down to St. George over Memorial Day Weekend. The boys and I left the Thursday before. Ryan couldn't come down until the Sunday before Memorial Day :(. We went earlier so Jayden could hang out with his cousins before they had to go home. I'm so glad we did, because he had SO much fun with them.

Jayden was a fish in the water. He swam back and forth in the pool for a good two hours. It was such a relief to see that, because years before he was terrified of the water (may have something to do with the fact that he fell head first into the hot tub???)

While we were there we went to the Natural Wildlife Museum. Those who know Jayden, know his obsession with animals. Especially ones that growl! He really enjoyed seeing all the animals, and "taking pictures" with his binoculars!

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And before May left us, we went to the zoo to check out the Jurassic Exhibits at the zoo. Yeah, Jayden's OTHER obsession. He HATED the dinosaurs that growled, but he was just fine with the ones that were quiet. Weird, considering Jayden loves to growl. Want to hear the most annoying sound in the world??? Come to my house. Growling going on 24-7.

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In other news...
Ryan's work schedule changed in June. He is working 3 days, and 2 nights. It's kind of a crazy schedule. And it's going to change again in August... then again in September. Blah.

Jayden is 100% potty trained. It's so nice to be able to say that. He stays dry at night, and this kid can hold it FOREVER. Not good.

Alex is about to turn six months old!! This little guy is such a joy in our lives. He is growing way too fast.
AT 5 MONTHS...

Alex is still waking up during the night. Some nights every single hour. Others it's every 3 hours. I think it depends on what I ate that day. Reflux is getting worse. I'm getting desperate. And I'm tired. And the doctors told me they can't try any more meds for him. I hope he grows out of it soon! I'm so tired, I feel like my life is slowly falling apart.

He has started to crawl!! He started getting up on his hands and knees a couple of weeks ago. Now he stretches out walks his feet forward, and his head collapses into the floor. I'm seriously shocked he's starting so early. Jayden didn't do that until he was 7 1/2 months old. And he didn't actually crawl till about 8 1/2 months.

He has a really hard time with solids. It wrecks havoc on his poor little digestive system. But he does enjoy them. Im not sure what to do. I'll ask his doctor next week.

He is sitting up. Another thing that shocks me. Jayden was 7 months before he started to sit up on his own. Crazy boy.

Alex loves to JUMP in his jumper. I need to get this on video because he goes so fast.

No teeth yet. But he has certainly acts like he's teething. He has a strong jaw and will chew on anything he can get his mouth on. I would say, "oh the teeth are coming" but he has been doing this since he was 3 months old, and there is still no swelling on his gums.

He is a drooler!

Jayden got a teeny tiny cavity on one of his molars. We went to the new pediatric dentist right by our house. It was perfect for him. Jungle animals galore! Here he is getting his teeth cleaned while holding a leopard:

Then he got to play with the animals. And finally got his filling. He did SO awesome. He was one brave boy. The worst part of it for him was the chair reclining. He got to watch toy story while getting his filling. He was pretty funny on the laughing gas. He kept yelling "HEY MOM!!! WHATCHA DOIN??? HEY MOM!!.. WHATCHA DOIN??"

To end, another funny Jayden story. I am landscaping the backyard planters. So I was planting roses and had the hose with me. Jayden was playing with it while I was digging. He asked me to dry him off, and I told him he would have to wait because I was busy. I'm not sure the thought process of the child, but he yelled: "I'll do it myself" and ran to the sandbox. Before I could stop him he proceeded to roll in the sandbox. Thinking it would try him off. Well let's just say: FAIL.

April/May Update

2011-05-22T22:25:00.008-06:00

It’s time for another update. Or, I’m a little past due! There is so much to talk about- I’ll try to cover it all. Alex is now four months old! On the one hand, I can’t believe he is already four months old. On the other, I can’t remember what life was like without him. The 4-6 month age span is my favorite as far as babies go. They’re so smiley. Watching them laugh and learn new things so fast. It’s awesome.
Alex did so much better with his immunizations this time around. Jayden got really sick with each set of shots. Alex did get sick after his two month appointment, but it has been two weeks since his four month appointment, and he didn’t get sick at all. I finally figured out why Alex has been so fussy, thanks to a conversation in the mothers lounge at church. He has reflux. His doctor prescribed some Zantac for him, and FINALLY he went back to sleeping through the night. I had a happy baby, and it felt great. We have had to tweak his dosage recently, but I’m so glad he’s not in pain anymore. And being able to sleep longer than two hours straight isn’t too bad either!! I have been a tired zombie… and the last few months have been a blur. I’m so grateful for my husband who has pulled way more than his weight these last couple of months. I can definitely say I could not raise kids without him!
Alex is growing, and getting tall! He was over 15 pounds at his 4 month appointment putting him in the 85% (?), I can’t remember his exact length but he is in the 75%. And just like his daddy, he has a small head putting his circumference in the 20%.

Jayden is officially potty trained. Saving those forty dollars a month on diapers is oh so nice. He did dump his training toilet in the middle of our family room floor. We have scrubbed, steamed, shampooed and are still smelling the lovely odor of urine. Ryan did some google searches a few hours ago, and currently half of carpet is marinating in baking soda. Here’s hoping it works!
Easter was a lot of fun. Jayden was very excited to discover his basket

(Excuse the shaggy do)
I spent 5 hours cooking us a nice Easter meal. Made everything from scratch (except for the rolls… who do you think I am anyway??). I was expecting streams of praises from Ryan when he ate it and all I got was, “Thanks. It’s good.” No enthusiasm, no exclamation… I was bummed. Looking for an opportunity for our marriage to grow I suggested he be a little more animated when describing my cooking. It may have gone a little something like this “If you ever want home cooked meals ever again, I better get a little something more than “It’s good.” !!!!” Needless to say, Ryan got the message. So these last few weeks, every meal I cook I get “This is amazing!!!” “The best meal EVER!” “10 out of 5 stars!!” “When Im on my deathbed, Im going to request this dish as my last wish.” Nice, right? Well it didn’t take Jayden long to catch on. Everytime I cook for him (be it chicken nuggets, or a PB&J) he showers me with compliments and thank yous. My favorite lines are, “MOM! This is the best food EVER! Thanks for making it for me..” “Wow mom, you cook this for me???? It’s my favorite!”… Im going to try to get a video of this because it’s priceless…
I took Jayden to the Kangaroo Zoo in Pleasant Grove. My mom invited us, and I was pretty sure that it may be a waste of money since Jayden seems to be scared of everything. I was wrong. And shocked. Jayden ran to the biggest, tallest slide there and went down with no problems. Six times!! Half of those times by himself. I was getting nervous climbing up the steep ladders. Not him. I’m still surprised. We’ll be going there more often. I still haven’t gone to the one right by our house!

When Ryan built the fishtank in our wall, he told me that our kids were going to love it. We were a bit dissapointed when Jayden showed no interest in it. Luckily Alex does! We lay him in front of the fishtank on a daily basis. And Ryan has a habit of falling asleep while watching him. Oh well.

My favorite thing about spring (the last two years anyway) has been watching the tulips come up. This year the grew with a passion. Holy cow those things got big. I'm a little scared that they'll get bigger next year. Some of those leaves were bigger than Jayden's head! But OHHH they smelled so good.

I just planted annuals, so hopefully they'll do just as well. I got some killer deals @ Home Depot.

In other news:
*Ryan's work schedule changed, so he will be working 3 day shifts, and 2 night shifts. Then it will change again in two months... and again. But work is going well. I will miss having him home during the day. A lot. :(
*We are attempting to do some landscaping in the back yard. I just spent 6 combined hours weeding, and I have been sore for two days. I will try to get some picture of that.
*The little guys and I will be heading out to St George later this week to spend time with cousins. Jayden is SO excited. Ryan will join us when he gets done with work.
*Alex just started rolling over.
*We are in the process of shampooing our carpets (inspired by the dumped toilet) and after seeing how dirty the water is, we have decided we need to shampoo more often.

That's all I can think of right now! Until next month!

Could today get any worse????

2011-05-18T23:07:00.003-06:00

See this room??? This is where it all began. Right in the middle of this room sat Jayden's "little potty". This morning he filled it up with pee. Normally I immediately dump it down to toilet, but this morning Alex was extremely fussy (after getting up every two hours last night screaming bloody murder (reflux.. apparently his meds stopped working). I was fussy too due to lack of sleep. Once Ryan was able to take Alex, I forgot about the potty, and promptly went to scrapbooking.
:: Back story on scrapbooking. I have been doing digital scrapbooking. I lost one year of scrapbook pages last year because of a virus. Luckily our dear friend was able to save the pictures, so I counted my blessings, and started again. I finished 2008, and started 2009 on a new program. Well a few weeks ago my user name on this computer got a virus. It was an annoying virus, but luckily hadn't destroyed the pictures, so I quickly backed up my scrapbook program assuming the 60+ pages I had worked on would be backed up with it. I should have double checked, but the virus was in motion, and I knew we were going to crash any minute. Found out earlier this week that none of my pages were transferred with the program. Hours and hours of work... gone. Very sad. A friend (thank you Nicole!) let me know that winkflash.com was having a sale where you could print all your scrapbook pages into a book, and they werent charging for additional pages. Thats a savings of 80 BUCKS!!!!! Thats printing an entire two years of scrapbook pages for only 26 dollars! The only problem is that the deal expires tonight, so I have been on the computer for 6 hours every day since then redoing all the scrapbook pages. It added a lot of stress to this day {today.}::
An hour into scrapbooking, Ryan went outside to help a friend clean his engine. I rocked fussy Alex on my lap with one hand, and scrapbooked with the other. Out of the corner of my eye I see Jayden dumping his potty upside-down. Pee.... everywhere. Everywhere. Drenched. Disgusting. So I put Alex down, who started to cry (Naturally), and scrubbed, and scrubbed and scrubbed. The thicker the carpet, apparently, the harder to get the pee smell out. Lovely.
Alex screamed all day, Jayden played his loudest toys, and I got more and more stress as completing the whole scrapbook thing was getting more and more difficult. Finally, late this evening I finished.
As I was feeding Alex, getting him ready for bed, Jayden came into the bedroom and said he had to pee. But he was tiptoes and freaking out about it, so I figured he had to do more than pee. I tried to yell for Ryan to help, which prompted another crying fit from Alex. And caused Jayden to run for the bathroom. Unfortunately he didn't make it in time. A 5 foot line from Alex's room to the bathroom was a trail of the brownest runniest nastiest poo. Covered the carpet, covered Jayden's legs... Ryan attempted to do damage control as he was getting ready for work as he blotted (???!!!) each stain with toilet paper. I finished feeding Alex, and tried to put him down but he was in a lot of pain due to the reflux so he was screaming. And scream he did as I attempted to scrub the stains out of the carpet... bath mats, and walls.
Ryan left for work. I attempted to calm Alex down, and finally got him asleep by 9 pm. Jayden threw a huge tantrum when I suggested he go to bed. Dragging him upstairs I discovered his sheets needed to be changed. Lovely. Oh well, there was already a pile downstairs.
He got to sleep and I went into rush mode so I could get the house clean, and get my workout in. I got two loads of laundry, dishes done, clothes put away and hung up, and THIS living room picked up. Which just an hour before now was covered in dinosaurs, plastic tools, and balls. Got everything done about 10:30... turned on my dvd to start my workout when I hear a blood curdling scream from Alex's room. I bring him downstairs so he doesn't wake Jayden. I fed him since that seems to be the only thing to comfort that nasty reflux he's having. I held him until he fell asleep.. laid him down, only for him to start crying again... It's 11 o clock. He would only sleep if I was holding him upright. I got tired of holding him which explains him laying on the chair, propped up the way he is.
Everything is now quiet. Except for the clicking of the keyboard, and the washer and dryer that are attempting to clean out today's messes. I should be doing my workout, but Im blogging. Because gosh darn it I needed to complain. Now Im going to enjoy a few more minutes of silence before I attempt to put Alex back in his crib. 30 minutes left until tomorrow. I can't wait for this day to be over!

Obsession

2011-05-15T09:47:00.007-06:00

I don't know if I mentioned Jayden's extreme obsession with dinosaurs. In fact, I give a lot of credit to dinosaurs for potty training Jayden. We had a basket with A LOT of little dinosaurs that we would reward him with every time he used the potty. And look at him now, he's a pro!
In April we finally went to the dinosaur museum by Thanksgiving Point. We went with Grandma Boo, Aunt Annese, and Uncle Josh. Jayden had a blast. We will definitely be making this trip again.

The last few weeks

2011-04-10T20:32:00.006-06:00

Lots to update! I'll start with Alex... hopefully soon I will update more often and won't have so much to say!

Alex was blessed last month. We did it on a Saturday, and just had family come. We are so lucky to have most of our family, near and extended, and on both sides, so close to us. We filled half of our church's gym and it was so neat to have everyone there. It really gave me a huge appreciation for eternal families. I should have gotten more pictures- but I was too busy running around :) Luckily, my cousin was around to capture some precious moments!

It was a beautiful blessing given by his daddy.

Alex has become a screamer. So much for "mellow". A lot of it has to do with gas bubbles that get stuck in him. After some bouncing and a good burp or two, and he calms down.
He doesn't seem to have a lot of patience. Some of you may be saying, "what baby does?" but Jayden did! It has been quite the adjustment trying to figure out this new personality. Jayden didn't cry when he was a baby... Maybe he did, but it never lasted. I remember his pediatrician looking perplexed when I told him he cried less than 5 minutes a day after she asked about his "fussy time". Shots, falling off the bed... down the stairs... pinching fingers in doors.. all it took was a cuddle from mommy and he was fine. I thought I was an amazing mom. Then, I had Alex :)
When he's mad, he'll let you know. And no comfort from me will cure him. When he's hungry, there is no warning, he just starts screaming. And don't you dare ignore him for a minute, or you will be suffering the consequences for many, many minutes. So he's my little reality check. Luckily he's super cute, and I love him to pieces! :)

At his two month appointment he weighed in at 13 pounds! --95% He was 75% in height, and has a small head. He's quite the chunker, and I LOVE his big rolls.

He is now 3 months old. He loves to be held standing. He just started laughing a couple of days ago. He likes to babble (when he's not crying, mind you). He hates his carseat. He spits up about 6 times a day, and gets the hiccups daily.

My boys. I love em.

Jayden has been a busy boy learning to use the potty. It has been 5 days, and he has been doing great. I have been putting it off until Alex started sleeping through the night (which he has been doing since 8 weeks, except for three nights, yay for big babies!) but, then I just didn't have the energy. I was expecting it to be a huge ordeal. I had tried earlier last year, and gave up after a few hours. But it has been pretty easy. He's still having a rough time going #2, but he will do it if he's doesn't have anything (Diaper, pullups, underwear) to catch it. So call before you come over, because it's likely Jayden is running around in the nude. ;)
He has been cracking us up a lot. I was so looking forward to this age, because I think the things 2 and 3 year olds say are so funny.
Here are some things I remember...
Jayden was praying "... and bless the food, and thank you for these chips ::unfolds arms, grabs a chip and sticks it in his mouth:: because they are delicious"
A few days ago I was telling Jayden he needed to sit on the potty, to which he responded "Honey, I told you already. I dont have to use the potty"
One thing I LOVE about Jayders is that he is very polite. I have never sneezed within hearing distance of Jayden without getting a "bless you". He always says "thank you" or "you're welcome" ... and he apologizes all the time. When we apologize to him he always says, "It's okay, don't worry about it."

A couple of weeks ago he was running in the kitchen barefoot. I was in the family room feeding Alex. I heard Jayden land pretty hard on the floor. I waited to see if I would hear a cry, or if he would just get up. After about 20 seconds I hear, "Don't worry mom, Im okay down here." Then he came down to inform me he slipped in the mud. I don't know where he got it from, but whenever he trips he says he slipped in the mud. I should probably teach him what mud is.

Ryan's big project this last month was putting up a shed. It's pretty huge, it'll be nice! Big thanks to his dad who helped him build it.

And my big project has been losing weight! Im counting calories for the first time in my life, and it's really paying off. Im losing about 2 pounds a week and made it to my pre pregnancy weight 2 weeks ago. I still want to lose twenty more pounds, and I'm hoping this 2 pound a week trend doesn't stop! I'll post some before and after pictures once I get to the "after" I want! :) It has all been done with counting calories, Lindsay Brin's bootcamp, wii fit, and wii zumba. Im feeling pretty good :)

This month we're hoping for some nice weather so we can finish moving some stuff from our garage to our shed. We'll celebrate my birthday in St. George, and enjoy the warmth!! Hopefully Jayden will be 100% on the potty. Ryan may be going on a two week business trip (sad day :( ). And Im thinking about painting our kitchen cabinets. We'll see what gets done :)

February

2011-02-25T12:34:00.002-07:00

February has been a busy, but very fun month.

Ryan went out of town for the first time since Alex was born. THANKFULLY my mom came up here to stay and help while he was gone. She pretty much rescued me. Me+not much sleep= DANGER!!!
Jayden loved having Grandma Boo around to play with.

We finished our taxes, and made plans to get out of debt in 3 years. (Hopefully less!)

We got a lot of medical bills from Alex's delivery. Curse you NICU! :(

Alex started babbling and smiling, My favorite stage!

We went up to Heber for a couple of days for a fun getaway!

We went down to St. George hoping for a WARM getaway... but it snowed... IN ST. GEORGE! What the heck. It was a lot of fun none the less. And I want to find some friends who know how to play Dominion- because I learned how to play- and I cant stop thinking about it. Jayden got to play with all of his cousins and had a ball.

I got my all clear to exercise again. Now I seriously need to lose some weight! C'mon motivation... come on!

Alex is now seven weeks old. He has been such a blessing for our family. He is such a mellow guy, and thank goodness for that because Jayden enjoys growling in his face. For the love.

Jayden is really into dinosaurs and tigers lately. He in fact IS a dinosaur or tiger most of the day. Which would be great except he doesn't speak to people... he growls. Loudly. Im hoping this stage will end quickly.

We are anxiously waiting for Spring!!!!

Smiles melt my heart...

2011-02-25T12:30:00.002-07:00

LOVE him

Here was Jayden's first smile captured on camera:

Our Cat

2011-02-25T12:24:00.003-07:00

Meet Shadow. Due to old age (thats what the groomer said, but she's only 5!) she stopped grooming herself. She has turned into a big matty moppy mess. Her matted hair got to the point where we couldn't get them out. We decided to take her to our animal groomer to see if they could comb them out. They said they had "special" tools.
Well, it was too hard, even for them, to get the matts out. So they shaved her. Now she kind of looks like a poodle. Im glad they were creative. My favorite is her Q-tip tail. Oh and her fur boots... AND she look like 30 pounds thinner now!

Valentines Weekend

2011-02-25T11:38:00.008-07:00

We had a great Valentines Day! Not only did I get to spend it with my three favorite guys, but with some great friends as well.
Our friend's family own a cabin in Heber, and invited a few families to come spend the weekend. It was a lot of fun.
There were a lot of babies:

And a few toddlers.

The girls made a fancy Valentines evening for the guys (No help from me- I WISH I was that creative!)
(Photo courtesy of Ariel's talent!... as well as decor. Man that girl is talented!)

We made goodies for the guys. You know how they say to get to a man's heart?...

And the guys surprised us with babysitting, a warm foot soak, feet pampering supplies, and some quality girl time. None of which I got pictures of :(

Jayden and I attempted sledding again this year. It was a disaster last year, he was terrified. We were making really good progress. Half way down the hill (It was a loooong hill) Jayden even started to smile.
UNTIL...
Two girls (you know who you are!! ;) ) came down really fast on out of control tubes each crashing into our sled. Increasing our speed, and eventually turning us backwards. Jayden screaming, "Hellllpppp Meeeeeeeeeeee Mommmmmmmy!!!!!!!!!!" As we finished speeding down the hill backwards. Maybe we'll try again next year. :)

We ended Valentines Day watching Brad kick Michelle off the bachelor (yes!)
And I was pleasantly surprised with some beautiful red roses and yummy chocolates. Love my husband.

Thanks for an amazing weekend! It was a lot of fun!!!

Let's end with this stud:

Weekend getaway? Yes please!

2011-02-25T11:32:00.003-07:00

Ryan's parents were able to take advantage of this CRAZY real estate market and buy an AWESOME fixer-upper in St George. We have been able to go up a few times with all of the family: siblings, spouses, and children. Such a fun experience. Here are some before pictures of the house. It'll probably take a few years to get some after pictures of the house. Ryan's mom has some amazing ideas. Ryan has been in heaven with this opportunity to help fix up this house. We foresee a lot of weekend trips to St George!!!
Here are a few pictures of the house- minus some bathrooms, laundry rooms, play area, and outside.

This photo slideshow customized with Smilebox

Three weeks

2011-01-26T20:58:00.006-07:00

Just an update

Things are going really well. I can't believe Alex is already 3 weeks old. I hate how fast time flies. We have been stuck at home trying to avoid getting sick. Once a week Ryan or myself will go grocery shopping and then come home and wash up really well. Poor Jayden hasn't left the house since he picks up any sickness within 5 feet of him. Luckily- we're doing a one month free trial of netflix. He has watched more "dinotrain" in the last 3 weeks than any child has probably watched in their life. Sad. I feel like a great mom! ;)
We did venture out last Sunday to see family. It was nice to get out. I can't wait for spring.
My cousin, Erica, came to our house last Friday to take pictures of my little men. Im so grateful she did- I just don't have that photographers eye. She did a great job. I posted the majority of the pictures on facebook- but here are a few I LOVE

Okay, maybe just a little more than a few.

I was really worried that Alex would be the "Difficult" baby. Jayden was super easy, and the pregnancy was easy, everything was easy. With Alex the pregnancy was difficult and lots of people told me that I couldn't have two good babies. But Alex is just like Jayden. SUPER mellow. Doesn't have a fussy time, he will only cry if he's hungry, and even then.. it's not really a cry. Knock on wood!! Im just hoping he will be a bit more outgoing.
He eats really well. He still sleeps all the time- so I am able to get a lot done. He'll usually sleep from 10:30 pm- 3:30 a.m. then he'll be up again at 6:30 am and will sleep until 11 a.m. Jayden sleeps from 9:30 pm-10:00 am. So it has been a really nice schedule. I just have a hard time falling back asleep after I feed Alex. I'm getting used to it though.

Anyway- to end here are some funny pictures of Alex's facial expressions

He is here!

2011-01-11T21:17:00.008-07:00

We welcomed our second little man into our family last Wednesday, January 5th. He was 7 pounds 9 ounces! (I turned 36 weeks pregnant the morning he was born- my preemie was HUGE. I was induced so early because of preeclampsia. Same reason I was induced at 37 weeks with Jayden.
I had a feeling I would go early. As soon as I got pregnant with Alex my blood pressure started to creep up. It actually stabilized during the second trimester, but started to go up again in the third. At about 34 weeks I woke up to get ready for church, but was feeling really sick. I figured it was just late pregnancy blahness. Eventually after feeding Jayden and making it back upstairs I took my blood pressure and saw it was super high. It was in the range that I was supposed to call the hospital- but I figured I could just rest in bed and it would go down. I laid down and kept checking my blood pressure. It wasn't going down. After about a half hour I called the OB on call, and she told me to come into the hospital, and to plan on having a baby. I was freaking out. I didn't want to have him so early. And I was not prepared for the hospital stay. Ryan had to work that day, so we called Ryan's mom to watch Jayden, and they dropped me off at the hospital. I called my mom so she could be there with me. Fortunately after lots of tests they decided it wasn't as bad as they had originally thought. After a few hours my blood pressure started to stabilize. They kept me at the hospital for 24 hours - and suggested I try to stay off my feet as much as possible.

Well the week passed- and I did the best I could to stay off my feet. My blood pressure stayed pretty stable and I tried to prepare the house for a sooner than expected addition. I was doing Non Stress Tests twice a week. On Monday the 3rd I went in, they had to do a half hour ultrasound because they couldnt find a baseline on Alex's heart rate. They have to do this 30 min ultrasound test if I don't pass the Non Stress Test. They look for 3 different things : fetal breathing, reflex movement, and some other type of moment. Anyway- he did everything but the fetal breathing. Babies "practice breathe" in the womb. Alex didn't feel like doing that during the 30 mins ultrasound so they set an appointment for me to come in the next day (Tuesday) for a repeat non stress test.

Monday night I started to feel really sick. Sure enough, my blood pressure was sky rocketing. It was accompanied with a massive headache that I couldn't control with Tylenol. I took a bath to relax, did some relaxation techniques. I knew if I called the Dr they would make me come in that night- and I wanted to spend one more night at home.
Tuesday morning I still had a headache and my BP was still high. My non stress test was at one. I figured once they saw my BP they would admit me to the hospital. So I packed my hospital bag, arranged care for Jayden, and we stopped by Walmart to pick up diapers and a newborn outfit, since I was still only 35 weeks I figured this baby might actually fit into newborn sizes, and since Jayden never did, we don't really have any newborn outfits! I had my last meal at McDonalds :(... And we went to the hospital.
When they saw my blood pressure so high during the non stress test, they called in my doctor. He asked me if I was okay with inducing that day, and said he was diagnosing me with severe preeclampsia. I kind of felt like that was going to be the case, so I said I was okay with it.

I'm kind of the queen of TMI, so you have been warned.. ;)

They started giving me pills to soften my cervix since I wasn't ready at all. They would give me pill every 3 hours and then when I was softened they would start the pitocin, the epidural, the catheter, and break my water.. And that put me on magnesium for my high blood pressure (worse stuff ever.. ugh!) Ryan seemed super nervous because he stayed up till 2 in the morning watching movies and pacing. That made it pretty hard for me to sleep- so I didn't. But at 2 a.m. on Wednesday, they started me on everything. I was dilated to a 3. So I was able to fall asleep with the epidural helping me not feel the uncomfortable hospital bed. And Ryan went to bed too. About 5 a.m. I woke up feeling really strong contractions. I was moaning and crying, and Ryan would not wake up. Yeah, he was like 3 feet away from me. They gave me some more doses of the epidural but it was not cutting it. The anesthesiologist came in to give me a stronger dose. At 6 a.m. the nurse checked me and I was dilated to a 5. I asked her to give me her best guess as to when I had an hour left so I could call my mom, and she could be there with me. I figured I had a while because I was in L&D with Jayden for like 30 hours. I had only been there with Alex for 12. 20 minutes later I felt a warm gushing down there. I asked my nurse if that was normal since they broke my water so long ago. Her face got ghost white.
She asked to check me again and apparently I was at a 10, and ready to go. She told me to cross my legs and not to sneeze. And she laid my bed down so I wouldnt be in a position to push the baby out. She frantically called all the dr's who all exclaimed "Oh shoot!" and "shut up!"
In about 8 minutes everyone was in the room. 3 contractions and 6 pushes later- Alex was born. At 6:48 a.m. He plopped right out but was really quiet. It seemed like an eternity before he started screaming. Music to my ears. It felt like an hour. They cleaned him up, did their tests, and let Ryan hold him. Meanwhile the doctors delivered the after birth. It was a lot better than my pregnancy with Jayden because with Jayden I felt them pushing everything out of my stomach and it hurt like HECK. But since my epidural was in full force with Alex- I felt nothing. What I SAW wasn't too pleasant. But that's okay- at least I couldn't feel it.
I got to nurse Alex then and he nursed like a champ. For like 45 minutes. So I was sure that his blood sugar would be normal. (Babies born to diabetic mommies tend to come out with low blood sugars) But they tested him after he fed and he was super low so they took him down to the NICU to put him on a sugar water IV. They said it was a 48 hour IV and he HAD to stay in the NICU during the entire transfusion. I was devastated. I do NOT like my babies being taken to the NICU.
It was really frustrating not being able to sleep in the same room as my baby. And having to walk down to the NICU every 2-3 hours to feed him. Not something very pleasant considering the damage he did coming out of me. It was frustrating because they told me 48 hours- but they didn't reduce the glucose water when they said they would - even though his blood sugars were stable. Alex wouldn't eat very well because he was on such a high dose of glucose (sugar water). So naturally his calcium levels were a little low. So they told me they had to give him ANOTHER IV with calcium. Which would take another 24 hours. Something that of course would NOT be the case if he was in the regular nursery.
Anyway- he was perfectly fine with blood sugars after they took him off the glucose water. 3 days later (grrr). But he had been diagnosed with jaundice so they had him under bili lights. They told me in rounds that they wanted to keep him in the NICU for 2 more days. I told them we could keep him on lights at home to which they responded it was IMPOSSIBLE to get lights for me on a weekend. WTH!!! I was not going to pay thousands of dollars a DAY so he could lay under some lights. I called my pediatrician and asked them if they could set me up with a bili bed. They said yes, and said it was a load of crap (basically) that you couldn't get lights on the weekend. So after a lot of pushing and shoving- Alex was able to come home with us on a Saturday. Saving us thousands of dollars. Sometimes it just feels like they want my money. Im sure that's not completely the case- but with my past experiences.. getting my kids out of the NICU is nearly impossible. And they always THRIVE when they're home.

So Alex is home. And he IS thriving :) He seems to be just as mellow as Jayden was as a baby. Never cries... and doesn't seem to be phased by anything. I feel very blessed. He was on the bili bed for a few days- but our Dr said we can leave him off since he is eating so well. She said it'll just take care of itself. Hmm- what a change in mentality.
Jayden loves his baby brother. Alex did pass some gas while Jayden was holding him, and it took Jayden THREE days to feel comfortable holding him after that traumatizing experience. But as of yesterday Jayden is holding him again (With help.). It's funny because Jayden will sit there for 15 minutes just holding, kissing and loving his brother. It seems like such a long time for a 2 year old. im sure things will change as soon as Alex wants to play with Jayden's toys. But for now, it's bliss. There hasn't been any jealousy or aggression. In fact Jayden asks me to hold him, or to feed him. or to help Alex whenever he gets fussy. Jayden seems like such a BIG guy now. His diapers seem extra nasty now too. As soon as I get on a sleep schedule Im going to really enforce potty training.

And here are some pictures:

Ready for a long night

Right after he arrived at the NICU

Then they had to take all his clothes off so he could be under the lights

Alex on the bilibed and Jayden being ever supportive. Do you love the contraption Ryan made to keep the light out of Alex's eyes. Love him :)

Our NICU babies :)

The nursery

2010-12-03T22:34:00.011-07:00

I have been really stressed about this baby coming because we haven't had the extra money to be able to make a nice nursery like we did for Jayden. We were able to successfully move Jayden into a big boy bed that we had in our crawl space so luckily we didn't have to buy a crib or mattresses. We also were able to reuse Jayden's dresser/ changing table, since Ryan's parents gave us a dresser for Jayden's room. With Christmas around the corner I knew our budget was going to be super tight. So I will explain how we got EVERYTHING for a little over $100. I am SO happy with how it turned out.

It all started with my DEAR friend Stephanie who, with her awesome sister in law made me a rag quilt. THANK YOU!!! It was my inspiration for everything. I owe you both so much. The best gift ever- and it turned out SO cute. It was a bit of work cutting snips on every seam to give the frayed look- but so worth it. Rag quilts are expensive!!!!!

With the blanket in possession I started brainstorming. We had some leftover brown paint from the master bedroom project. I didn't want to paint the whole room, but I did want to give it a little punch of color. So here we are prepping..

Well basically- here are all the before pictures. And Jayden... he was VERY helpful. Thats his "big boy bed" in the center of the room...

All right- so I wanted to have one wall have a shelf, but I wanted it to look kind of decorative. so we bought 2 1x6x10s and 1 1x6x6 of pressed plywood I painted them with the brown paint we used on our bedroom and we used 8 of these little square moldings that were around $1/each. Total cost= A little under $30

I bought some curtains, a bumper, and a dust ruffle at the Baby Depot located in Burlington Coat Factory. Total cost= $50
Curtain rod and drawbacks were on clearance at Shopko, PLUS I had a coupon so it ended up being about $15

Then I had to get creative- I bought $3.50 worth of scrapbook paper, 8 pictures frames of various shapes and sizes at the dollar store= $8. Went to Roberts and bought some paint on sale 3 bottles for under $3... A bag of wooden alphabet numbers= $3.50. And a container of "Puppy dog tail" wall stickers for $11.

Making this room a total of= $120.00. Definitely nice to have the hand me downs from Jayden :)

The shelf wall:

The "Stripe" wall... never doing lines again. It took hours- and then HOURS of touch up. It's not perfect. But it'll do.

When we have a name picked out for this little boy I'll put his name up over the crib in those big wood letters.
The wall stickers turned out cute. I like them. I think on the top middle part of the closet I'll put a sign that says, "Snakes, snails, and puppy dog tails"

And then the alaphabet. And the curtains. And the 1x6s nailed into the wall. It definitely would have been easier to do the alphabet in vinyl, but not as cost effective since I would have had to buy 4 different colors of vinyl to achieve the same look. But painting small letters= not fun.

Anyway- Im happy with how it turned out. Im glad we just did brown accents because if we ever have a girl it would be really easy to make it a girls room too. And Im glad its done!! Now to sort through boxes and figure out what else this baby needs...

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

2010-12-03T22:05:00.007-07:00

It took me a little over two weeks, but I am finally done decorating the INSIDE of the house for Christmas. That was being 30ish weeks pregnant. I'm not sure how long it's going to take me to take everything done. We may be celebrating Christmas until February!! I debated just not worrying about it this year, but Jayden is really starting to get it this year, and decorating with him made twice the mess, twice the "breakage", but twice the fun.
He would pull stuff randomly out of our storage containers and exclaim, "Oh wow! Happy Christmas" It melted my heart. In this picture below, he found the music box my mom gave him last year. He would just open it and grin. It was a music box with Santa and his reindeer going around in circles in the Village. In three days he must have opened it over 50 times.

He also loved the Christmas books. He had them last year, but paid no attention. Have I mentioned how much I love him GETTING Christmas now.

In the kitchen I have the Santa Clause theme. Hopefully we'll always have a kitchen where I can stick things on top of the cupboards.

Then in the living room is where I display the nativities I have been collecting. We're sort of out of room now- so I will try really hard not to collect any this year.

This little table of crafts I made with my mother and sisters in law. I feel so blessed to have married into a family that loves to craft. I have learned so many new things!! We try to get together monthly and make crafts for whatever season. These were just some of the awesome crafts we did. I LOVE them.

And then everything else goes in the family room. Good thing we have lots of shelves...

Almost forgot the tree... As a tradition we buy a new family ornament to represent what happened that year.

It'll be good to have this blog post recorded because it usually take me a while to try and remember how I had everything the year before. I hope everyone is enjoying their Holidays!!

The 28 week check up

2010-11-15T22:02:00.003-07:00

I went in for my 28 week ultrasound today. I haven't posted any ultrasound pictures because this little guy has been soooo far down in my pelvis this entire pregnancy they have never been able to get a good picture of him. This isn't to say we got a good picture of him this time, because it's not great, but it's still fun to see. These are the 4D Ultrasound pictures. I know his NOSE looks HUGE but it's squished up against my placenta and because of the angle of the ultrasound probe it looks very prominent. Jayden's looked even bigger believe it or not. We were very worried when we saw Jayden 4D picture.

He is on your left hand side, kind of peeking around the placenta. We couldn't get his whole face. On the left is umbilical cord... I don't know- hopefully you can make it out.

It LOOKS like he has the same chin as Jayden. Jayden's was very prominent when he was born. Anyway- he is measuring a couple of weeks ahead of what he should be. Coming in around 3 pounds, and measurements equal to 30-32 weeks when Im only 28 and 5 days. Let the bigness begin. I thought I was going to be induced the end of January BUT apparently I was mistaken. The latest they will let me go is 38 weeks. They want to induce sooner if the baby gets too big, or if my blood pressure gets too high.
I'm concerned because of our experience with having to deliver Jayden early. We're just praying really hard that whenever he needs to be born he will be healthy and ready to come out. So right NOW the latest he would be here is the week of the 16th of January. That's exactly two months... I'm a little scared. I keep having a feeling he'll have to come earlier than that.. but Im trying to push it out of my head. Thinking positive thoughts... If he's going to come early though- might as well make it December so we get that extra tax write off ;)

So from here on out I will be having Non Stress Tests every single week. In a month I'll be going twice a week. Oh the joys. If anyone has any good books I could borrow....!! :) Ill try and post another belly shot soon. I think I have gotten a lot rounder!

The REST of October

2010-11-15T21:37:00.007-07:00

I did mean to update the day after my last post. It's hard for me to sit at the computer and do something that actually requires thinking. Mindless tasks work well for me right now!! Here's hoping I get better! Here are the Halloween pictures: I really wanted to take Jayden to a pumpkin patch to enjoy the fields, a tractor ride, the mazes... Ryan really wanted to just go to a grocery store (LAME!). So we compromised. There was a little pumpkin stand at a corner of a semi busy street. It was fenced off and there was a decent selection... That night we started carving our pumpkins. I really wanted to make Jayden an Elmo pumpkin. I ruined the first one I attempted so I tried again with another. Score! Jayden had fun helping. The only annoying thing was he insisted on doing everything himself. Love this age. We went trick or treating on Saturday. Rain was in the forecast... but I was really hoping it would hold out. It didn't. We went up to Ryan's parents house to trick or treat. We also took Jayden to a few of the families that Ryan grew up with. I think we did 5 houses before we gave up. The downpour was not cool! But it was nice to see everyone! Before the rain.. walking up to Grandma and Grandpa's house Do you love the butt on this costume??? It killed me to watch him run. He scored at this house (of course)... And the other houses... he was just so shy. We ended up going back home around 6 to find all the candy we left out gone! Sorry neighbors! I took Jayden around the the block and he got more and more confident with every house. It got to the point where I was chasing him to each door, and he was yelling "TRICK OR TREAT!!" before they even opened the door. Quite the difference from when he was insisting on being held and would whisper "No, you do it..." when I asked him to say "Thank you" He got a lot of candy, and Ryan and I enjoyed it. Jayden would have a little of this, and a little of that... but he's not really into sweets... UNLESS theyre Swedish Fish. So we ended up recently throwing a bunch away. He had a lot of fun though. Ryan and I didn't end up dressing up. Anyway- to end here is a VIDEO for grandparents :) (Press the play button, Grandma ;) )

October

2010-10-29T22:11:00.004-06:00

The month of October has been insane!!! Here's hoping for a more relaxing November!
This month:
-Jayden refused to sleep. A boy who has always been an amazing sleeper suddenly has a fear so extreme of being alone at night time... AND at nap time. It has made for a lot of really long stressful nights. But I'll blog about that later.

-My little brother's fiance (Now his wife- as of 10-20-10) lived with us for a month. We were so grateful for the opportunity to get to know Tyese. And I'm super excited to have a sister in law!

-Jayden fell in love with Tyese. His first love. It was pretty entertaining to observe Jayden "flirting". As long as he doesn't tell me to "Go AWAY Mom" when he and a girl are in his room when he's a teenager...

-I got to do a lot of fun crafts for our Relief Society's "Freaky Friday" ... they were so much fun to do. I kind of miss working graves at Jetblue having all that time to work on crafts. Here are a few of the things I got to make:

-We had an awesome Ward Halloween Party where they did a "TRUNK or treat". We were super rushed- so we showed up really late- BUT Jayden managed to get some goods. Tomorrow I'll try to get some pictures of Ryan's and my costume... and Jayden's costume complete with some face painting. Meanwhile here's Jayden

He was pretty shy. I had to carry him to every.single.car. He would not let me put him down. *sigh*

-Our annual OCTOBER girls night out was a success. Yummy crepes. And a fun craft. I did make a plaque.. but it didn't end up in the picture.

-I got live my life long dream of being a bridesmaid... too bad I was six months pregnant. So yeah. No pictures.

-I got my hair cut SUPER short. It has not been this short since I was like 7 or 8 and some little girl asked her mom if she could play with "That boy" pointing at me. I actually really really like it. Ashley did an amazing job. And it's so much easier to take care of.

-Next week I will be entering my THIRD trimester. The second trimester was pretty much a breeze and went by fast so thank goodness! Here's hoping the third will go by just as quickly. Im kind of loving that my body is now like a personal heater. Im never cold. Im loving it in this weather.

-I am completely good now with having another boy. I'm actually really excited. I have been taking out all of Jayden's baby stuff and that has been a lot of fun. So far all ultrasounds have been GOOD. The risks are always high with diabetic pregnancies so it has been such a relief. Here's hoping all stays well the next three months.

-We took Jayden bowling for the first time. He had fun but had the worst asthma attack ever as we were leaving. Bowling alleys= not so clean.

-Asthma got worse and worse. We ended up at the Dr's where they had to put him on oxegon for 3 hours because his levels were 70% when they should have been 95-100%. LUCKILY we didn't have to have been hospitalized. He was such a champ. It breaks our heart watching him suffer so much with this dang asthma. I wish I could take it all away from him. Can we please have a healthy member of our family? Seriously...

-We got to see a lot of family this month. There were weddings, bridal showers, dinners. I LOVED it.

I will try to post pictures tomorrow of the trick or treating... and my AWESOME Elmo pumpkin.

And the verdict is....

2010-08-19T12:49:00.002-06:00

BOY!!!

I didn't even allow the "idea" of having another boy cross my mind. It wasn't going to happen. I was going to have a girl... I was dissapointed.

I feel bad about being dissapointed. I know we are very blessed to be having a baby, no matter the sex. I have just always dreamed about having a girl since I was a girl. The OB noted my dissapointment and called it a birth defect between the legs. It made me laugh.

The good news is we are going to be saving a lot of money!! Granted this little guy and Jayden will be from different seasons but blankets, shoes, hats... burp cloths, sheets, carseat, stroller, etc.. can all be used again.

And these are two weddings we don't have to pay for... It will be good. I just need to get used to the idea. AND I will! :)

Congratulations to those who were right! ...besides- we have ONE more chance to have a girl.

Our BIG news

2010-07-29T20:04:00.004-06:00

We got a new car!!!

But that's just to throw you off :)

I'm always scared to share this news since diabetic pregnancies are so high risk. I'm afraid once it's publicly announced something terrible will happen. Just like I bought a bunch of girl clothes and Jayden turned out to be a boy :). All bad karma aside- we're very excited to announce that I am 13 1/2 weeks pregnant and have made it past the first trimester!

13 1/2 weeks

I have a due date of February 2nd- and since they never let a diabetic go full term I will be induced the week of January 23rd if no other complications arise.

This pregnancy has been SO different than my last.

*Morning sickness in full force... still waiting for food to regain it's appeal.

*I definitely have been more tired. I know, I know- I have a two year old so what should I expect? But it has been exhaustion beyond chasing a two year old. It's very different than my first pregnancy.

*With Jayden my skin got super clear, My hair grew in really thick and I had to shave maybe once a month. I LOVED pregnancy. This one- bad skin, my hair is falling out in the shower, and I have to shave every few days... what!?!?!?

*With Jayden I didn't get big very fast, but just gained weight in the belly area. This one... well, I'd rather not talk about it since it's a sensitive subject.. grumble.. grumble....

So this pregnancy has been difficult but I am very grateful that we have been given the opportunity to bring another baby into the world. We're excited for our family to grow a little bigger. Since this pregnancy is so high risk we go to the Doctors a lot. I get to see the baby once a month via ultrasound which is really neat. We're hoping to find out the sex on Aug. 19th. *crossing fingers*

Diabetes has been under pretty good control during the last few months. It's never perfect which is frustrating because Im a perfectionist- BUT we're praying really hard that there won't be any complications.

Anyway- that sums up why Im getting so fat and have been a hermit ;)

Jayden turns TWO

2010-07-22T21:39:00.005-06:00

Time is flying by... Our little man turned two on the 16th of July. He has been such a blessing in our life. We're so grateful for the great kid he is. We just got his two year stats:

*He is still off the charts in height
*He is in the 70% in weight... I think that's the most he has ever been
*And is consistently staying in the 50% for head circumference... why do they measure that anyway?

We had a couple of family parties for his birthday. We debated having a party with his buddies, but he is so shy I don't think it would have turned out well.
Ryan and I celebrated with him on Friday. We bought a lot of small gifts and let him open them throughout the day. He loved that.
I decided to be creative and try to make him an Elmo breakfast... yeah- he hates breakfast so he could have cared less but I thought it was fun. Maybe my next child will be more appreciative :)
We had chinese food, and cupcakes to end the day. I had a really cute video of Jayden blowing out the candles... but I accidently deleted it... DANG IT.

On Saturday we had Ryan's family over... well his parents because no one else could make it. I did something I will probably NEVER do again - I made his cake. I bought an elmo mold... frosting tips.... lots of powdered sugar and dye... 5 hours later.... I almost cried when we cut it all up... Jayden isn't a big cake, cookie, or other amazingness fan so he didn't eat it. But hopefully he can look back on pictures and think I was a pretty cool mom.

He was pretty excited about his cool new powerwheels from Grandma and Grandpa. Sometimes uncertain, he's starting to get the hang of it. Please excuse this horrible video... half the time I must have forgotten the camera was going. So please.. enjoy my feet

On Sunday we went down to my parents house and celebrated Jayden's birthday there with Great Grandparents, Great Aunts and Uncles, normal Aunts and Uncles (haha), and 2nd cousins. I'll admit I was a little worried about how he would handle so many people, but he did pretty well. He was in heaven opening gift after gift. He's loving his trucks, books, and ball. My mom made had a bubbles theme, which right now is one of his favorite things in the whole world. I'll probably be more appreciative of it when I don't have to go outside every night to blow BUBBLES!!!!

Fourth of July

2010-07-22T21:25:00.005-06:00

Ryan and I forgot our neighborhood was doing a street of fire... so we set up shop in our driveway, and started playing with sparklers until some neighbors walked by and told us about the fun 8 doors down... Our street kind of curves so we couldn't see 8 doors down. Sadly I didn't get any pictures of the street of fire, but I did get some classic sparkler pictures.

Jayden did well- except for trying to catch the chair on fire. Speaking of camping chairs, he LOVED sitting in mine- so we got him a mini camper chair for his birthday. He was psyched...

(This is NOT the camping chair we got him for his birthday... his is very "manly".)

So we'll probably end up using our fireworks at the neighborhood, "Court of Fire"... love our neighborhood :)

Updates from... June?

2010-07-22T20:19:00.005-06:00

For fathers day I got a neat idea from the Family Fun magazine (LOVE that magazine). So I made these cupcakes for my dad and dad-in-law. I was going to make some for Ryan too, but he ate the cupcake brownie before I could decorate it. Oh well. It's the thought that counts.

We also got to go to the zoo a couple of times last month. Jayden LOVES the zoo. He sat in front of the elephants and laughed and laughed. He loved talking to the monkeys, and squawking at the birds. This was our best shot at a family picture... eh... we tried.

He did have fun on the carousel with Grandma...
....Once he was sure the animal wasn't real.

Slacker....

2010-07-11T21:41:00.002-06:00

The summer is halfway through and Im pretty sure I haven't consistently blogged since last fall. And THAT wasn't a happy time. I have pretty much felt like I have fallen off the face of the earth. The other day I was reading blog posts of past and was reminded of things I had totally forgotten about. I feel bad, because someday when we have another baby, and that baby is in the 1-2 year old stage I'll check my blog to see if I'd dealt with "insert whatever trial here" and there will be no recollection. I'm too lazy to write in a journal, but I type fast enough I should be keeping some sort of record!!!

Jayden turns TWO on Friday. I'm not sure how that came so quickly. It scares me- how is he that old now?! He still loves to snuggle. He is talking in full sentences now- although only 40% of those sentences are comprehensible. Jayden loves "Taking care" of his toys. His Elmo, his baby, his doggy... This worries Ryan greatly. I think it's precious.
Still a little obsessed with Elmo, however the last three days he hasn't asked for Elmo so I'm HOPING we might be getting to the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know if I like his new obsession much more. I have read books for a total of 2 1/2 hours every. single. day. Elmo was cool because I could stick him in the DVD player and get stuff done. Books are cool because they're supposed to be better for your child ... you know, make them smarter? But I have not been able to get anything done. And I can't just make up the words, or say "blah.. blah.. blah.." as I turn the pages. Nope. That makes him angry. Don't think I'm a bad mom. The first half hour of book time is fun... then he runs out of books, and we have to start all over again... Hmm... I think I need to invest in one of those "Teach your baby to read" programs. Or maybe I'll start reading Dan Brown to him?
Jayden loves animals, cars, trains, books, and scooby-doo fruit snacks right now. We have been to the zoo a couple of times and he is in heaven. ... Lets see... what else? I mentioned before that I'm pretty sure he's over his milk allergy and we're really excited. 5 days in a row he has had some sort of dairy and has done fine. He still has a pretty bad case of asthma and we're taking that day by day. I wish that was something he could just grow out of. We live in the wrong state from him to have asthma.

Jayders is really shy. And that has been really hard for me to watch. He gets so closed up when new or big groups of people are around. Even people who aren't new, it takes him a long while to get used to someone and open up. I kind of view it as shyness= lack of confidence and it frustrates me because I feel like he's way too young to lack confidence. I don't know what to do to help him feel more comfortable!! We go to the park, and if it's just him he'll do great. Climbing, exploring... if another kid comes on the playground Jayden won't get near it. Won't leave my side. Any ideas on what I should do??? ... Was he beaten up by another kid when I wasn't watching?? What is up???

Anyway- there's Jayden in a nutshell.

Ryan and I are good. We just celebrated our five year anniversary in June. Sort of celebrated... we went to Sizzler? ;) Work has been treating him well, lately he gets home at decent hours and we're able to spend most of the day with him. He just applied to go back to school. And from what I've heard... I'll never see him again :( But I think it will be really good for our future and I think it'll really help his brain. ;)

I have really enjoyed not having a job outside the home. I do feel guilty but my focus has had to be elsewhere. It has given me the opportunity to focus on myself and to get things in order. I have appreciated Ryan supporting me- I know it has been hard for him. Really hard. He is a good guy. Heavenly Father has really helped us get by. I have such a strong testimony of tithing. It doesn't make any sense- but it works.

I will upload some videos and pictures later. Im pretty sure I have to charge my camera before I do that. Goodnight!

McDonalds Smoothie

2010-07-11T16:20:00.002-06:00

Last Tuesday Ryan and I had the rare occassion of going out on a date... without Jayden.

It was a last minute thing- so in attempt to make it to the movie on time and take Jayden to Grandma's house... we missed dinner. As appetizing as the movie theater hot dogs looked I decided I could wait to eat until we got home at 9:30ish.

Well the movie ended, we picked up Jayden, and made it a couple of blocks before I told Ryan I NEEDED food ASAP and I couldn't wait till we got home (home afterall was like SEVEN minutes away). McDonalds was sort of on our way so we pulled in through the drive through at 9:30. Surprisingly we had to wait for a couple of cars.

The person taking our order sounded very... animated. As we pulled up to pay I told Ryan I was anxious to see what this person looked like because he didn't SOUND normal. He looked like an average guy, in his 40s maybe... and then his mouth opened.

"Well sir, you look like quite the romantic" he told Ryan pointedly. I snorted and Ryan said, "I try to be."

"I bet you don't sleep on the couch too much, huh?" 'Random...' I thought, but it got worse. As Ryan handed him the money he told us, "Yeah, I just slept on the couch last night. I told my wife to get dressed purty cause we was going to Outback. She got on her nice clothes and I looked at her and said, 'Okay c'mon lets go out back.' hahahaah! she thought we was going to Outback Steakhouse!!! I was just takin her out in the backyard to have a couple hot dogs..."

Ryan and I politely laughed. Hoping the car in front of us would move forward so we could move forward.

"You know," he continued "I also slept on the couch on our honeymoon. Yeah we was up with that preacher and he asked me if I'd marry her. And I said, 'I do... UNTIL I can do better!!' hahahaha" .... pause.... "I guess that's why we're getting a divorce today." .... followed by a long awkward silence. We both apologized to him abou the the divorce and he just sort of stood there. Halfway out the window staring at us. I was biting my cheeks trying so very hard not to laugh. Mentally trying to push the car in front of us so we could drive out of this uncomfortable situation. Unfortunately the car in front of us didn't move for a few minutes. Luckily the cashier left the window and started singing at the top of his lungs, "I DO!!!!! TILL I CAN DO BETTER!!!..."

I don't know- I think it may have been more entertaining than the movie.

On a bright note- Jayden drank a whole McDonalds smoothie. I didn't think it had milk in it, but I found out that it DOES. And a lot of milk. Jayden did completely fine with it. I think he's over his milk allergy... HOORAY!!!! Think of all the possibilities...
Mac and cheese
Pizza
Yogurt
Ice Cream
Cake
Cookies...
Jayden will no longer have to eat noodles mixed with Italian Dressing every single day!!!!

My Mom

2010-06-06T21:26:00.003-06:00

Growing up in Illinois- when the movie "God's Army" came out, a group of youth and parents drove 40 minutes to the only movie theater in Illinois that would play a "Mormon Film". Hopefully the theater made some decent money from it because I'm pretty sure all the mormons within 3 hours of that movie theater went to see Gods Army. Anyway- that movie probably hasn't made an impression on anyone who grew up in Utah. BUT I thought it was pretty cool.
When I was growing up my mom had been working on a book about sister missionaries. She served a mission for 21 months in Asuncion Paraguay when she turned 21. She loved hearing stories from other women who went and served around the world and thought it would make a wonderful book to compile all the stories.
Now, I'm not sure how it happened because I was a teenager and the world pretty much revolved around me but my mom was contracted to write a book from the Sister Missionary's point of view from the movie, Gods Army.
I think the publisher dragged their feet or something because she was writing and rewriting this book for like 5 years. I don't think they knew what they wanted. Eventually Gods Army was ancient history. But she had some great ideas so she changed things around a lot and wrote a new book about a Sister Missionary.
I know my mom wrote it so I am a bit biased, BUT her book is AWESOME.
It was such an uplifting read. A story about a young woman who has these dreams about a family she is supposed to find and teach the gospel to. She goes on a mission in attempt to find this family- and has a lot of exciting experiences along the way. I am so proud of my mom for publishing her first book. Every time I go to Seagull Book I have to bite my tongue not to point at the book on the display shelf and yell, "that's my mom!!" Although Tara did do that for me on my last trip there :)
And to get this in the mail and see my mom's book... AWESOME!! Way to go mom

Easter!!!

2010-04-22T21:48:00.003-06:00

This last Easter was fantastic. It fell on the same Sunday as General Conference- which is a worldwide broadcast given by our beloved Prophet and Apostles. We were able to dedicate our whole day hearing those messages, and I'm so grateful for the things I learned. What an awesome way to remember the atonement and resurrection. I didn't buy Jayden a cute Easter outfit.. I dont think I did last year either. It's probably something I'd be more willing to do if I had a girl. But he's cute anyway :) On Friday night we dyed Easter Eggs for the first in... for me it had been 7 years. Jayden's first time ever. And Ryan can't remember the last time. Jayden really enjoyed doing it and managed to dye his hands as well. And Saturday afternoon- the Easter Bunny came during Jayden's nap. Jayders really enjoyed his basket but seemed to be kind of annoyed about having to stop playing to put the "hidden" eggs in his basket. Maybe next year we'll try another route. Im not sure if we will let the Easter Bunny use that grass stuff next year because it was thrown ALL OVER THE HOUSE... picked up.. and throw all over again. A pain to clean up. Ryan and I got a couple of movies and lots of candy in p

This is a video taken of Easter last year. Where Jayden got trampled by our dog Bella. I can't believe how much he has grown in just 12 months!! I'm glad I don't age as fast as he does!!

TAG!

2010-03-25T21:10:00.010-06:00

Rachel tagged me a couple of days ago. I wanted to do it while Jayden was napping, after I had taken a shower, and had some makeup on... Unfortunately Jayden has boycotted naps- and since he has been sick Im not allowed to have any time to myself (to shower, put on makeup... get dressed..). Im SO glad Ryan is coming home in a couple of hours. Im going crazy!!!!

MY FAVORITE ROOM:

This was a tough one- but it's the main room in our house and it's where our family is together most. Plus there's food- and I like food. (Someone told me the color red makes you hungry- I wish I had known that before I painted HALF my kitchen that color..)

Our bathroom:

Laundry Room:

Self Portrait (Please excuse to greasy hair- no makeup look...) And since my brother may ask- yes Im making a dumb face on purpose.

Im supposed to post a picture of my favorite shoes now- but I forgot to take a picture of them. Don't worry- you're not missing much :)

The fridge:
Out and in

Closet
Kind of hard to get a picture of it- so I took a few:

Kitchen Sink:

And what my monkey was doing while I was taking pictures around the house:

Junk drawer fun...

Now I think Im going to go take a shower so Im at least somewhat presentable when Ryan comes home. Don't judge me!!! ;)

Oh and I tag everyone whose FIRST name starts with A-.... M?
and everyone else too.

The Febuary and some of March recap

2010-03-12T21:55:00.002-07:00

It's time to update again...

Off topic (isn't everything I write off topic?) I used to have an online journal. Nobody knew about it. Well- nobody except for a few people. And the strangers of the world wide web. I really liked it. I could be completely open. And I was. Im pretty unreasonably open on this blog.... But on this blog I probably wouldn't talk about my feelings of inadequacy or lack of self esteem. Or hurt feelings, or... any of those things that I used to love to talk about. It's kind of a bummer. But I needed to learn to sensor anyway.

I certainly have been having a case of the end of winter blahs. Im done with winter. Im excited for spring. I have no idea what the rest of this year has in store for us. And Im a little bit scared thinking about it. Hopefully good things. Jayden is already almost 20 months! Insane. Four more months and I'll have a two year old. Sometimes I just stare at him and wonder how the heck he has gotten so big.. so fast!

Ryan is loving his new job. And so am I! I love having him around more often. This job is really a blessing for him. It's still kind of hard to get used to the post stroke effects. He's so tired all the time. I need to change my mentality of tired=lazy (but only when 10-12 hours of sleep=tired) and remind myself of everything his body has been through. This last weekend he got around to staining the railing in our kitchen. It looks a lot better.

Jayden is doing great. Unfortunately for us he seems to have already entered into the terrible two stage. AND he is testing ALL of his boundaries. Im so sorry to people who have hung out with us lately and seen his ugly side. He is certainly TRYING to teach us patience. At 20 months
*Jayden has used the big potty about 15 times. If you sit him on the little toilet and tell him to go to the bathroom (and he actually needs to go) - he will. He will still go in his diaper- and hasn't ever told me he needs to go to the bathroom- BUT it's a good start.
*He is obsessed with ELMO. He asks to watch Elmo every hour. I wish this was an exaggeration. I really, really do. I'm not sure what to do about this new obsession. I dont like him to watch movies a lot. And he freaks out when we tell him "No Elmo"... we let him freak out- but it's still frustrating.
*Loves saying prayers. Every single meal he has to say a prayer. I whisper the words to him and he goes. He gets very frustrated if anyone decides not to fold their arms though.
*Loves slides. We got an inexpensive little slide and climber of KSL... unfortunately the weather has been crappy but hopefully soon he'll be able to enjoy it.
*He still is copying every word you say. The only sentences he says are "Are you ready?" "Ready- set- GO!" "Thats mine" and "No ___ (insert name here)." Those are sentences, right? ;)

The end of February we gave away one of our cats, Emmy. But she found a really good home, and hopefully is a lot happier. We gave Shadow away too, but she came back the next day. I was actually very grateful about it (its a good story- feel free to ask me about it). So now we just have ONE cat and ONE dog.

Hmmm... what else??? We're trying to sell our Acura So if you know anyone interested... call me! :)
And I recently had a couple of interviews of some really promising jobs. I should know SOMETHING by Monday. I'll try to blog about it- but you may just have to wait until March's recap. ;)

To end... a picture of my trouble maker

Laundry Room

2010-03-11T19:09:00.004-07:00

We (Ryan) opted to finish our half bath and laundry room since Woodside homes basically wanted an arm and a leg. It's not 100% done yet... but it's getting closer... It was Ryan's first "floor" tile job. I think he did pretty good :)

Family Room...

2010-03-03T22:05:00.009-07:00

There used to be a wall dividing the family room from the kitchen:

We tore down the wall- did the sheetrock, the tape... the mud.. the fireplace..

Then came the carpet.. And the mantle... and the tiles around the fireplace

Finally the railing and the furniture. The family room as experienced every furniture arrangement possible... but I don't think I have pictures of them all

First:

Did I mention one of Ryan's "dreams" was to have a built in fishtank?? He totally did it. He's awesome.

Apprently I don't have any in-between then and now pictures- so here is what the family room looks like now:

Sorry my camera is pretty sucky...

Living Room

2010-03-03T21:46:00.006-07:00

The Living Room was the main room in our house for a long period of time. Ryan was finishing the family room- so it was our everything room. It wasn't too bad...

Eventually we painted and moved the furniture around

And then we got some new furniture in attempt to make the room like bigger. Thanks to Rachel for the ideas on furniture placement. AND how to make the base molding appear larger than it actually is

More to come later...

Master Bedroom

2010-03-03T21:32:00.004-07:00

Im a little embarrassed to post pictures from right after we moved in. We didn't have much "stuff" so I improvised. My first project was the master bedroom... and I totally ruined it....

I decided to do an accent wall in red, and paint the walls tan. The walls turned out to be gray. And my red accent wall turned out awful. After 5 coats of paint I could still see brush strokes. I decided to fix the problem. Sponge paint... had I ever done it before? NOPE! Did I like how it turned out? .. NOPE!!!! Unfortunately I was burnt out from painting.. so the UGLY accent wall had to stay. And it did.

Two years later... I was still hating the master bedroom. But we didn't have any money for MY project ::GRUMBLE::. I was a nanny and I would take a percentage from every check and stick it in a special account specifically for our bedroom. Eventually life got crazy and I forgot all about it. But when a local store had a home clearance event of 80-90% off... I certainly remembered my previous plan. The only thing we paid full price for was the paint and molding. $250 dollars. I should be on the show "Design on a Dime". I LOVE it.

Renovations

2010-03-03T21:13:00.003-07:00

When Ryan and I were living in a rented apartment shortly after marriage, he would tell me about all the things he would do when we had our "own house".
To be honest I didn't really believe he could do any of those things he claimed he could. I certainly knew I couldn't. And growing up I didn't see a lot of handy work being done. (Don't worry dad- I know there are good reasons! ;) )
Finally in 2006 the day came where we were building our own house:

We didn't do any upgrades because Ryan promised me that he would do all the upgrades himself... I was kind of annoyed and lacking confidence... but he has stayed true to his word. I was looking through pictures of our house over the last few years and it has changed a lot. Many projects later our house is finally turning out how we imagined. And it has been a fun, hard adventure. Im glad Ryan is such a handy man. He has done a great job. His mad skills are a total turn on. I want to post pictures of our before and after renovations... we're not even halfway done.. but we're getting there..

Hmmm... January recap?

2010-02-14T21:20:00.003-07:00

A lot of stuff happened in January. I should try to blog more than once a month. When I'm not forced in front of my computer at 2 in the morning it makes it hard to find "quiet" time to blog. Yes, you heard me right... I no longer sit in front of my computer at insanely late hours, because... I quit!!
But that's just a small detail of the HUGE things that happened in January. Looking back it's all a blur. Where to begin?

Ryan started work the beginning of January. He was nervous about going back. I was nervous for him. A lot of things had changed. He was still contractor- but was hoping to get a government job. If you have not served in the military- it turned out- that it is next to impossible to get a permanent position. So anyway- he went back on Monday and just wasn't happy. He was bummed about not having the new job he came so close to having... work was really slow. He came home at 3 in a pretty bad mood. Well, two hours later his phone rang. It was the lady from Panasonic (Original company that offered him the job right before he was hospitalized- but could not hold the position for him). She informed him that they were going to post the position again- and would he be interested? Heck yes! Apparently the guy they hired in Ryan's place quit and got another job leaving the same position open. Seriously... miracles... They had to do the whole process over again (Bkgrnd check, drug, physical, etc..) So he just started the beginning of February and LOVES it. It really is a good job and we feel so blessed. His old job was really nice about it. They helped us out so much while Ryan was in the hospital. His last day at work I was able to go up and meet all of them. It was really nice.
A couple of weeks later the woman handling our workman's comp claim called Ryan. Let me preface this by telling you that we were convinced they wouldn't accept the claim. They had been so difficult to work with. And although our case was pretty convincing it was impossible to prove- or disprove. We had set up payment plans with the hospital, care center, and in-home rehab. And without going into too much detail we were headed downhill fast. With the medical bills, on top of lost wages, and my lack of income had workman's comp NOT accepted our claim- we wouldn't have a house, or cars in about... I don't know... 4 months? Maybe 3. I didn't sit down to do our budget (mainly because I knew it wouldn't look pretty) until after the claim was APPROVED (YAY!!!!) It is such a blessing... and miracle! that it was.
Now, about my quitting... Kind of a sensitive subject. I feel a lot of guilt for doing it, especially considering the financial situation that we're in. But I feel at the time it was what I needed to do. And it has been a blessing. The last 4 months life has been insane. A roller coaster ride and I never got a chance to really breathe. Jayden was suffering with asthma and with the Utah inversions it was getting worse and worse. On top of working until 3 in the morning Jayden would be up 3x+ a night coughing and throwing up.
Granted, Ryan was home during this time but Jayden would (and still won't) let anyone comfort him but me. I was completely exhausted going 110 mph on an empty tank. Right around Christmas the airline I worked for cancelled a lot of flights. People called in and chewed me out for ruining their Christmas vacation. YES- I KNOW I shouldn't internalize their screaming at me and calling me names- but with he mountain that was piling high on my back... I snapped. I broke down. I told Ryan I could not do it any more. I was gaining like 3 pounds a week. I wasn't taking care of myself. I was being a bad mom to Jayden because I was so exhausted all the time... It was getting to the point where I would dread working even 2 hours for the 9+ hours leading up to working.
I prayed about it. I talked with Ryan about it. And I decided it was time to quit. Had I sat down and done the budget I probably wouldn't have quit because I would have felt obligated to work. In fact originally when Ryan accepted the new job (prior to his hospitalization) we determined that in order to make ends meet I would NEED to work for another 2 years at least. So hence the guilt.
So I realize that a lot of people may not agree with my decision. But I am happy now. I have been able to take care of myself. I have been a better mom to Jayden. Hopefully a better wife... I don't know how we're going to compensate for the lost income... but we're trying to work on some plans:
- We've cancelled our land line- so please just call our cells. But not too much cause we only have 700 minutes a month!!
- We cancelled our TV... Friends, can I come over to your house and watch our shows!!!?? ... No- I think this will be good for us.
And we're working on some other things. I have had a lot of trials to help me learn faith. And I know if Heavenly Father says it'll be okay. It will be. I really CAN'T see how right now- but I know it will.

...What else?

Jayden is 18 months!! Old enough for nursery and is doing so much better in there than I anticpated.
He is still over 95% in height and hanging around 60% for weight. He is at the parrot stage where he repeats words he hears. I love it. He can play the wii fit plus. My 18 month old has made it to level 2 in the obstacle course!! That's my boy!
We got to go sledding for the first time last month. He HATES snowmobiles and four wheelers. Loud motors apparently freak.him.out.

Some really great friends invited us to spend the weekend up in their family's cabin. I was so stressed that Jayden was not going to sleep well because he has quite the history of being a bad sleeper in unknown places, but he did great! It was SOOO nice to get away from EVERYTHING for a couple of days. We really needed it. And I got to read the Hunger Games on that trip. Awesome. Thanks guys!!!!

So if you're still around... here are some pictures of January :)

(Click to Enlarge)

December Recap

2010-01-01T22:11:00.008-07:00

Christmas was great this year. It came and went WAY too fast. But it's nice to be starting with a new year. Im anxious to see what 2010 has in store for our family!

This...er last year we were obviously a little strapped on cash so I... WE... made some of our Christmas gifts. I was excited with the outcome.. I just need a little more practice. Thanks family for accepting my first work:

Jayden helped Daddy decorate the outside of the house for Christmas.. I don't know how much of a help he was, but it was cute.

Jayden met Santa, but wasn't too impressed this year...

What a difference a year makes

Jayden got his first "professional haircut- and with Daddy's help picked out his own outfit

Our little Nikki turned 21!! We went to Texas Roadhouse and Temple Sqaure to help celebrate. Is it just me or does she look just like Ryan??

Santa came to our house Christmas Eve since we weren't going to be home on Christmas Day. Jayden was really exctied for all of his toys. Christmas morning we went down to my parents where we spent the first half of our day. Then on to Ryan's parents house which unfortunately I didn't get any pictures of :( Thank you to our families!!!! We couldn't have asked for anything more perfect. I love family :)

GOODBYE 2009!!!! BRING IT ON 2010!!!!

2009-12-24T00:07:00.002-07:00

We hope everyone who is reading this has a very Merry Christmas. Thank you to all of you who have been an answer to our prayers and have helped make our season brighter. If we don't have the opportunity to serve you back in this life- I pray we'll have the ability to do so in the next. ;)

I'm so grateful for the opportunity to be on this earth at this time. For the trials that have helped me learn and grow as a person. I'm SO grateful for the knowledge of Heavenly Father and His son, Jesus Christ. I hope this Christmas I will be able to focus on the true meaning of Christmas.

An amazing quote from President Uchtdorf:

"This is a season of rejoicing! A season of celebration! A wonderful time when we acknowledge that our Almighty God sent His Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to redeem the world! To redeem us!

It is a season of charitable acts of kindness and brotherly love. It is a season of being more reflective about our own lives and about the many blessings that are ours. It is a season of forgiving and being forgiven.

But perhaps most of all, let it be a season of seeking the Lamb of God, the King of Glory, the Everlasting Light of the World, the Great Hope of Mankind, the Savior and Redeemer of our souls.

I promise that if we unclutter our lives a little bit and in sincerity and humility seek the pure and gentle Christ with our hearts, we will see Him, we will find Him—on Christmas and throughout the year.

Of this I testify in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen."

This is not my Merry Christmas post

2009-12-23T23:20:00.003-07:00

A lot has happened in the last few days. Maybe even the last few weeks... The last few months have been a blur and I was hoping to have the time to blog more so I could reflect on everything that has been happening. But it's almost Christmas Eve, and of course nobody is calling so I will write away.

Update on Ryan: He's driving me crazy! ... But I love him. He can now remember my age, and Jayden's date of birth without guessing. It's amazing watching his brain heal. However there are still issues with short term memory. And if he can't remember something I said, he makes it up. And that... THAT is what is making me crazy. He tells me these things I told him, because it can't remember what I actually told him, and remembers his "inventions?" as facts. He is teaching me patience :) I know it's frustrating for him. And I know he'll get better with time!!! :)

For weeks now Jayden has been waking up 3-4 times a night with asthma attacks. I had him on a children's singular that his Doctor recommended, and it worked... BUT I noticed he was acting really strangely when he took it. I researched online and apparently it has been known to cause some pretty serious mood changes to little guys. As soon as I found that out I stopped giving it to him and we are up for hours at night. Why for hours? Because when he has an asthma attack he needs an inhaler which contains the steroid albuterol. Albuterol causes increased heart rate and general hyperness which makes it pretty much impossible for him to sleep. I'm not sure what triggers these asthma attacks. We think maybe the cats... It would break my heart if they're the cause because they are like family to me. These attacks usually only happen at night. I hate giving him so much medicine. I hate taking medicine myself and giving so much stuff to a little guy breaks my heart... but it's the only thing that can calm him down. I have been trying different natural methods. Someone told me to massage him and try to relax him and it might help his airways open up on their own?? I bought some organic honey since that was suggested on some website... They also suggested banana covered in peppercorn... don't think he'll let me give him that!! It has been such a stress- I have been blessed to have been in training so I didn't have to find ways to get off work in order to care for him (My training was from 1-7pm .. instead of my typical grave hours).

Speaking of training and work... There is something to mention on that aspect. I finished training and last weekend we were dealing with the storm in the Northeast. Cancelling everyone's flights right before Christmas... mandatory overtime... Undisclosed airline calling my house at THREE IN THE MORNING telling me to sign up for overtime. Customers were MAD. And they were of course taking it out on me.. Because Reservationists are the frontline. We get to take the crap when an automated system calls them at 3 AM and tells them to calls us.
I think I mentioned before that I haven't "cracked" so to speak since everything happened with Ryan. Well Sunday I cracked. People were yelling at me. Calling me names.. blaming me for the weather in the northeast... Jayden woke up and Ryan couldn't comfort him so he was screaming downstairs. I was working from home but any way to get time off was blocked to reservationists because of the storm. I have kept a squeaky clean record working for this airline. Never missed a shift, never been late. I'm a rule keeper. Not that night. I signed off the phones and I didn't get back on.
I was done. For years (3 to be exact) I have wanted to quit. We needed the extra money... we had flight benefits (we didn't use)... sure people blamed me for the fares being to high... sure the only time I could work was when Jayden sleeps since he's such a mama's boy Ryan can't put him to sleep, and if he knows Im home he'll bang at the door and scream... I had to deal with it. People asked me how I worked graves with a baby. I don't know. The nights I worked I was a zombie the next day. I wasn't patient, I didn't want to do anything, and didn't have the energy to do anything even if I wanted to.
I told Ryan I couldn't do it anymore... bad timing, right?? I know. After logging off I was up all night sobbing. Could I quit? Would our family suffer if I quit? Could I deal with the hours and the mandatory overtime coming up. Could I deal with the emotional stress? I prayed.. and was probably too tired to get an answer. But a couple of days later I got an answer. And I gave my two weeks notice.
I am SO relieved and scared to death. I've applied to a job (thanks Mal) to work from home (and not deal with customer service). I haven't heard anything... Ryan will be going back to work the first the the year... And I'll be out of work. I'm not sure how that's going to work. But I have faith that something will work out. I'll let you know :) I've been worried about how people will look at me for making this decision. Especially given our current circumstance. All I can say is right now, it feels like the right thing to do.

Today (well- it's 12:02a.m. so technically YESTERDAY) was a rough night. Jayden somehow got a hold of some M&Ms and swallowed them whole. They have milk in them, but since he didn't chew on them I couldn't see an allergic reaction on his face. A half hour later he was barfing everything EVERYWHERE. I cannot even believe how much stuff came back out. His tummy isn't that big!! While Ryan was cleaning up the throw up and I was cleaning Jayden up I started to smell smoke. Apparently a burning log had fallen out of the fireplace... LUCKILY we caught it in time, and the only damage is a towel with a few holes in it now. Heavenly Father is looking out for us.

I'll end this novel- and write my "Merry Chritmas" post now :)

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

2009-12-13T21:24:00.002-07:00

A lot of people have been asking... and I just wanted to let you know...

We're doing okay :)

We have felt so blessed this Holiday season. I've never spent a Thanksgiving where I've felt so... deeply thankful for something. This last Thanksgiving (I know... I'm a little late getting to this) was an awesome day for me to reflect on all the blessings in our lives. My husband is alive and well! Not a day goes by that I'm not grateful for that. It has certainly brought a new perspective to our marriage. Getting angry at each other just seems pointless now. Not to say disagreements don't happen anymore but... they're easily resolved now. We have been humbled :)

It has been three months on Tuesday since Ryan was in the hospital. He hasn't been working for three months!! That's 1/4 of a year!!! It has been nice having him around. I guess it wouldn't be any surprise to say we are still working with the "sweet" (totally being sarcastic) woman at Workman's Comp. And we're still slowly going nowhere. Medical Bills are late- which is what I think they aim for.. To drag you along until you're paying 100s of dollars in late fees! I think we'll start a payment plan with the hospital, and hopefully someday in the next 6 months we'll be able to pull something through with Workman's Comp! I'm trying not to get my hopes up. We may not have a solid case. I thought we did. Now I'm not so sure.. I think that's their purpose :)

Sweet little Jayden has been sick the last three months. I'm pretty sure he has asthma and I think I mentioned that before. We have the steroids and the allergy medication but I dont' like how they affect him, and try not to use them very much. He is up for hours at night at least once a week going into coughing fits and throwing up. It breaks my heart. It has been such a blessing to have Ryan home during this time so I'm able to sleep in a little after a long night.

I just finished my two week training. Once again it was a huge blessing to have Ryan home so he could watch Jayden. And to be honest, it was no nice to get out of the house. I think I really needed that. It was also nice to be able to go to bed before three in the morning. But as of today I'm back to my old shift. :( I was able to pick up an extra 20 hours each week so it gave us some extra Christmas cash which was truly a blessing...

Speaking of Christmas. I think this year would have probably been a difficult Christmas. Just because of small stupid things. I swore this year we would have Christmas cards because I always LOVED getting Christmas cards and wanted to send them to loved ones. And I love doing neighbor gifts. We have such a neat neighborhood... so many people helping each other and watching out for each other... And those were things that we would have had to not do this year which would have seriously put me in the dumps...
But... last year I had a feeling I should buy a bunch of small neighbor gifts for this year. Ryan was mad and I remember telling him "Well come 2009... you'll be thanking me for being so prepared" .. I thought I was just BSing... but I wasn't :) I'm sooo grateful I planned ahead. And a year and a half ago I bought 100 stamps. 100 stamps to mail 2 bills. Costco was doing Christmas cards 50 cards and envelopes for only $15!!!! A very talented friend of ours designed a perfect card.. and for 15 dollars I'll be able to send Christmas cards to family! Those are really dumb things... but they were really important to me. I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father provided a way for me to be able to participate in the giving aspect of Christmas. Thank you to our very special friends who also helped provide us with a way to give this year for Christmas. I hope you know who you are! :)

I have joined a lot of websites that email out special deals and promotions. Because of that I was able to buy lots of toys for Jayden for just 30 dollars. I'm glad he's not old enough to care about WHAT he gets or how much its worth. Geez, I hope he's never like that. I think I was a rotten teenager. Sorry mom and dad.

We got family picture done this year. It is going to HAVE to be a tradition- no matter what. When Ryan was in the hospital, and the Dr's were saying he might not make it, or that he might not ever be the same again... A lot of stuff went through my mind. One of them was being so upset that we didn't have a recent family picture. Ryan hates getting his picture taken.. like most guys... But Im so glad we did.

Anyway- I just wanted to sum up that we are doing good. We'll be just fine this Christmas. And we feel the spirit of the season more now than ever before. Which, not to be corny, is the best gift ever.

I have not broken down since everything happened. I thought that one day I would just snap from all the pressure. But I have really felt the spirit strongly in our lives and I don't think there will be a day that I'll just snap. I have been going to Christmas goodies to comfort me from the stresses of daily life. And I need to stop that for the sake of my diabetes and so I dont end up being a contestant on The Biggest Loser ;)
I can see it now: Jillian "WHY ARE YOU FAT?!?!?!" "It all started when my husband almost died..."

So since I'll be up till 3 in the morning working I'll probably be posting pics and videos of the last couple of months. Jayden has been growing up so fast... and they'll all probably be of Jayden. I need to blog every day to keep up on all the new stuff he is learning. ... And that's not gonna happen!

Hopefully I will have time to blog before Christmas, but if not, Merry Christmas!!

12:22 am

2009-11-04T00:22:00.006-07:00

Work is slow. I'm trying to avoid the temptation of VTO (Voluntary Time Off). I don't have much to blog about. That's a good thing I think! ... Don't worry I'll come up with something.

Jayden is still sick. He has been sick since Ryan was in the hospital. But what he is sick with seems to be changing. He had that yucky cough... and then it turned into bad asthma. With the asthma he got a secondary infection and had a runny nose and consistent fever. Now he has that stupid cough again and hasn't kept food down all day. He has been running a fever every night for the last week. I have gone through a whole bottle of baby Motrin. I'm feeling very guilty about that. His bottom two molars are coming in and one side of his gums is two times the size of the other side. I'm not sure if this is normal, or if his gums are infected. Those teeth have been trying to come up for a month.
He's a trooper. Despite fevers and not being able to sleep he has been such a good guy. I've spent many nights with him rocking and praying that whatever is wrong with him will just go away. I don't know why he gets so sick so often when fall and winter come. They say breastfed baby's are more healthy. Psssh! Whatever!
...Yeah I'm still breastfeeding at 15 months. He was almost weaned and losing interest right before Ryan went the hospital. I thought for sure I would lose my milk supply because of all the stress. But nope. And Jayden just wanted to breastfeed more. I figured it was an attachment thing. And I knew he was stressed so I let him. Now he's sick, and sometimes it's the only thing he'll eat/drink. Ugh, I feel like a cow.
He's certainly growing like a weed. He understands what we say to him which is really cool. We can tell him to do things "Get your shoes" "Go kiss daddy" "Tough your nose, mouth ears..." "Put away your toys" ... and he understands us. I know every child learns these things, but it's so neat to watch your baby grow. He is saying a lot of words. HE LOVES talking on cell phones. It's his passion in life. And EVERYTHING is a telephone to him... he'll put the object up to his ear and will go 15 minutes straight just talking on the phone. It's funny cause Ryan and I don't talk on the phone very much.
Here are some pictures of our little guy that make me smile :)

In other news, Ryan got his picc line removed on Monday. He had been carrying around the IV for six weeks! He was soooo excited to get it out. I thought the man purse he always carried around was quite fashionable:

It carried something like

And this is how it was put it in him. When she took it out it seemed like she kept pulling and pulling and pulling

I guess it went up to the heart. For some reason neither of us realized that. My attention to detail (or lack of) scares me sometimes.

Just to reiterate... I know I do every time... BUT we feel so blessed to have such amazing family and friends. Thank you for helping us :) You know who you are. We hope someday we're able to return the favor. We feel so blessed and hope you're blessed. Thank you. It's almost impossible to feel down with all the support we've received. Thank you.

And as you can tell from the pictures above... Jayden was a tiger for Halloween. He enjoyed the first part of trick or treating. He was a little overwhelmed but enjoyed taking candy and putting it in his bag. He and I ended up calling it quite early since neither of us were feeling very well so daddy went and partied without us... haha :) It was fun. And he is always opening our pantry door to go through his stash. Just like his mama. :)

Odds and Ends

2009-10-28T00:19:00.007-06:00

More updates :) And some pictures...

Jayden is doing much better. Those steroids for asthma worked like a charm. However now he has a horrible rash and Im wondering if it's related?? It also made him SUPER hyper. It was like ADHD X10. He's starting to get a runny nose.. but I can handle that. :) That's ALL I want to deal with.

Ryan is getting better everyday. He gets his IV taken out on Saturday which he is REALLY looking forward to. He just put together a computer, and we're very proud of him :) Thank you inlaws for providing him with those hours of entertainment.

I haven't heard from workman's comp OR the HR person at Ryan's job. I should probably call and follow up... I just don't have the motivation. Im in the middle of a work week so my motivation, on a scale from 1 to 10 is like a 3. Im getting these medical bills for 1,000 dollars... 600 dollars. Claims being denied.. and I'm totally tossing them aside saying "Eh, I'll deal with this later." My old self would be freaking out. My new self is okay with that. Yay for the new me.

I can finally say: Im okay. I really am. No, we're not in a great situation right now. But I am glad we're in THIS situation and not dealing with being a single mom. I'm so glad Ryan is alive. The more we talk to Doctor's the clearer it is that he shouldn't be alive. This is a miracle. And I am so grateful. All three of us are alive, currently healthy, and I think (hope!) we appreciate each other a lot more. I feel so blessed. Family and friends are amazing... I'm feeling like a broken record.

When Ryan came out of open heart surgery he looked SICK. They had this huge IV thing in his neck... you may want to skip these pictures:

Gross, huh?
Anyway- here he sits... everyday. Ryan's grandma gave us one of those electronic lift recliner things. He used to sleep there every night. But in the last couple of days has joined me in the bed. It's finally getting the point that his chest doesn't hurt to lay down

Last Saturday we had a ward Halloween party. It was a lot of fun and Jayden did trunk or treating for the first time. I sure love this boy:

And we carved some pumpkins for the FIRST TIME EVER since Ryan and I have been married. Jayden enjoyed eating the pumpkin. I made Ryan and Jayden with my pumpkins and Ryan made some evil thing

Two down... one to go?

2009-10-20T21:59:00.003-06:00

Today has been the day from HECK. I did initially swear- but then I deleted it :) It has been a bad long day. And I want to be in bad. Really really bad. But Im trying to work... TRYING. I turned on my computer and instead of loading up all my programs I turned it off again. Without even thinking. Hopefully I dont accidentally delete someones flight. Anyway- I'll blog to help keep me a wake. Keep in mind, once again, Im tired.
Sunday night Jayden's cough was getting really really consistent. I was up all night with him. I had to get off work and just hold him. He was throwing up phlegm... On top of that- APPARENTLY 'Salad Supreme' has milk and cheese in it. It's a seasoning.. it never even occur ed to me to check the ingredients before I tossed it in the Pasta salad we had for dinner. So he had a major allergic reaction. Eye lids swelling up. His breathing got all crazy... I was so confused- but I knew it couldnt be an allergic reaction because I "knew" he hadn't had any dairy. Eventually I figured it out. I felt so bad. And so guilty. And I assumed the "worsening cough" was due to the fact that I almost killed him. Im a bad mom. Im so mad at myself.

Like I said Sunday night he was coughing all night so I called the new pediatrician (our old one moved to Oregon.. thanks for the reference Catherine!) and they said they could see him that morning. I got there and everyone was wearing face masks... and looked miserable. Moms looked stressed out... Kids tired and sick. Jayden at that time was coughing, but full of energy. Someone in our ward had suggested his cough sounded like asthma so I wasnt too worried about him since he seemed to have plenty of energy. Although his breathing was a bit labored.
He was diagnosed with asthma. They gave us an aero chamber mask:

you attatch the inhaler on one end... cover the nose and mouth with the other... AND you're supposed to keep it on his face for two minutes. Ever tried to cover a 15 month old nose and mouth for two minutes? Jayden would not do it. And his cough got worse and worse. His breathing... worse and worse.

Which brings us to today. Jayden was up again.. all night. I slept maybe 2 1/2- 3 hours since I was really worried about him. He was throwing up and his breathing sounded awful. I had to put his head between my knees, and hold his arms with one hand while spraying the inhaler with the other. Torture. For both of us.
First thing in the morning I called the pediatrician office to tell them that Jayden wouldnt take the inhaler and we would need to use a nebulizer (sp?). They told me I could come pick one up.
Then I check my email, and Ryan's job has FINALLY sent me Cobra applications so I now have NINE days to fill out, apply, and become approved for Cobra before our deadline is up and we will be insurable for a YEAR. WE CANT DO THAT. I don't have that much time. An added stress.
Jayden wouldnt eat breakfast... wouldnt eat lunch. I picked up the nebulizer machine but they told me the medicine for it couldn't be called into the pharmacy until that afternoon. Jayden was really sick by this point with a high fever.
I tried calling to workmans comp lady to find out why nothing has gone through yet. I wanted to know if she needed any other information. In the three hours I tried calling her 8 times. She never answered her phone. And here's the kicker: she doesn't have voicemail.
.... Fast forward to two o clock. My mom comes over to watch Jayden since I had to take Ryan to a DR's appt. Ryan appointment was at 3:45 at the U... I left the house around 2:15 to pick up the prescription that had been called in two hours prior. The pharmacy told me they prescription had not been filled because the stinkin guy didn't see Jayden in the system. They told me to wait ten minutes. I came back ten minutes later- they said to wait another ten. After being there a half hour they tell me that theyre out of the medication for Jayden- but they would have it tomorrow. I knew Jayden was getting sicker and sicker so I drove to another Smiths.

Got to Smiths and they told me it would be ten minutes to download Jayden's file before they could fill the scrip. At that point I was able to get in touch with the workman's comp lady. She is a beast. Child of evil evil evil. I have never talked to anyone so mean in my entire life. To sum it up- she called me a liar. She accused me of withholding medical records. Told me she was going to deny my claim- and then corrected herself (I dont think she was allowed to say that quite yet). She said that it was suspicious that Ryan was hospitalized the same day we went camping... Ryan got his stitches taken out, AND came home sick from work. I dont know where she got her information. Ryan and I went camping on aUGUST 21st. The same day Ryan got cut at work. Two weeks later the stitches were removed. 2 weeks later he was hospitalized. Her information was completely false- and I tried to explain that to her- but she wouldnt stop cutting me off and accusing me of all these insane untrue things....

(Background on workmans comp: We are attempting to file for WC because it is believed that the cut that Ryan got at work was how this infection entered his blood. The infection built a home in the left ventricle of his heart... and then pieces of the puss were breaking off- going to the brain causing the stroke. The mass that was removed... that was thought to be a tumor was actually a HUGE abscess of infection.)

Anyway- she wouldn't tell me what Medical Records she wanted. She just kept saying she wanted ALL of them. I told her I thought she had all of them- but she didn't believe me. Whatever. Typically under circumstances such as that I would cry. But I was so angry. And didn't have time to cry.

We were late for Ryan's Dr appt. But in summary: They won't start him on blood thinnners but want him to take an aspirin a day since it appears he might be prone to clotting. They said it was thought to IMPOSSIBLE for an infection to make it's home in the left vent. of the heart because it is continuously pumping and cleaning itself out. She told Ryan and I that she- and all the other Dr's were SURE he was going to die. They had his name in red- because he wasn't expected to make it. She said she had never seen anything like that before... Dr's were taking pictures of the surgery with their "I phones" She said they have shown it to every Dr under the sun and no one can believe Ryan made it through that surgery alive. MIRACLE!!

Speaking of miracles... we got home from the appointment and Jayden's fever was at 102. My mom said she had given him Motrin but it just wasn't working. His breathing was really awful and he was so out of it. I called the Dr's who told me to bring him in right away since Davis county was being saturated with the swine flu virus. When we got there Jayden oxygen percentage was 86%... it's supposed to be 100% . They weren't going to let us go home. I prayed really hard. Ryan prayed really hard. After two nebulizer treatments, steroids, and motrin. His oxygen level was up to 93% and they let us go home. He doesn't have any type of flu. They can't explain his fever... but I say it's just a miracle that he's home... and breathing a little bit better. So we're home... and Im now working... but I gave away hours for the rest of the week. We need money... especially since sweet workmans comp lady said she was going to stretch this out till the 4th of Nov. Which means no money coming in till the fourth. Witch. And they'll probably deny the claim.. and we'll have to get a lawyer which will stretch it out even more. Once again.... witch. URGH!!!
I need my sanity. So we can just live in a cardboard box as long as I can sleep a little the next couple of days. I have to given Jayden his 15 minute treatment every four hours... Im looking forward to the day where I can sleep more than 3 hours at a time. Lord help me.

Well... I'd like to say I feel better. But I don't. This post wasn't very well thought out. I think I just need sleep. Im starting to run a fever and I can't afford to get sick right now.

Quick Update

2009-10-13T22:32:00.002-06:00

Ryan had a follow up Dr. Appointment with the Cardiologist today. They did a chest xray and found some fluid "sort of" in his legs. He said, "The fluid is not IN your lungs but it is in the area your lungs are." Too bad I'm not remembering anything from those Anatomy classes I took. Anyway- the Dr didn't seem too worried about it. They are giving him some medication that will make him pee a lot- and they're hoping he'll just pee out the fluid. I don't know how you pee out fluid in your lung area. But apparently... You can.
So Ryan has passed his Physical Therapy. They no longer come to the home since Ryan seems to be doing just fine on his own. Same with Occupational Therapy. The Speech Therapist who helps Ryan with his memory said she doesn't think she needs to come anymore. His memory, although not PERFECT, has gotten so much better. Everyone is SHOCKED about how quickly he is recovering. And I know it's due to all those prayers.. so THANK YOU!
As far as returning back to work.. a tentative date is December or January. Of course... right around Christmas. Gurr. I think this year I'll be making all my gifts. I'll try anyway. Luckily Jayden is young and doesn't know the difference so that makes me feel peaceful about the whole lack of Santa this year :). It sucks but considering everything we have been through. Im just grateful that we'll all be together- and honestly nothing else matters.
Still no word on Disability or Workers Comp. I'm starting to get nervous. We're okay right now... but won't be in a few weeks. I'm trying not to think about that and I'm hoping everything will just work out. I don't have the energy to freak out about anything. :) I know it'll work out. I didn't know it would be such a long process. Jayden has his well check appt next Wednesday and I'll get some more diabetic supplies before our insurance is gone at the end of the month.... Not that our insurance covers that much to begin with. Stupid insurance. Maybe I should go full time? ... Yeah I can't.
We're plugging along. Im doing better. Getting into a schedule and I can change an IV now in two minutes. (I hope Im doing it right). Ryan can now shower by himself. He's still sleeping in that recliner. When he comes back to bed it's going to be hard sharing it. I have been sleeping smack dab in the middle every night. Poor Ryan.
Oh one more thing... Ryan went to three hours of church on Sunday!! What a stinkin pro :) I was so proud of him. He even sat in a bench.

:) Sorry

2009-10-07T01:05:00.002-06:00

With my last post I wasn't meaning to call out for help or make anyone feel burdened to help. Writing is very therapeutic for me. And sticking it out in the world wide web... Maybe not such a good idea. :)
Today (technically yesterday) was a better day. I felt like I had more strength. I prayed for strength... and I got it. So maybe I shouldn't be so stubborn?
I feel better today. I am happier. I know things will get easier with time. And I have that to look forward to. Jayden was an angel today and made me laugh all day long. We sure are blessed to have such an easy going guy. I love both my boys with all my heart.
I sure like to sleep. But I know you can survive on little sleep. And people do it all the time. And I can too.
I just want to say I love all of you. Thank you for caring. For worrying about us. For wanting to help. For praying. It really helps us. And we appreciate it so much. If there was one good thing to come out of this whole thing it was to feel this amazing love from others and have an appreciation we have never felt before. Thank you :) ... We're praying for God to bless you many times daily so don't be surprised... you know- Im just saying... if things start turning out really good for you. ;)

Venting

2009-10-06T01:02:00.003-06:00

Sorry it has been so long without an update. I used to complain I was busy. I look back now and laugh at my past idea of busy. My past ideas of exhausted. I'm ready to give my two weeks on life and go to the Bahamas or something. I think my body, spirit and mind need to recover from the traumatic past three weeks. Unfortunately I told my work I only needed two weeks of Leave of Absence. I need like six... but we need money. Not only do I need a "LOA" from work... but I need one from life.
Anyway- I'm blogging because it's one in the morning and Im working (while blogging). And I have two more hours to go. And when I get off in two hours Jayden will wake up four hours later... Well rested, happy, and full of energy. And I will be a zombie. And I'll make breakfast for Jayden. And then for Ryan. And make sure Ryan takes his pills. And I'll feed the dog, and the cats, and the fish. And then I'll clean up from feeding everyone.
Then I will feel guilty because Jayden's diaper probably will not have been changed... and I haven't been able to give him our typical morning one on one time cause I've had to take care of everything else. And eventually he will go down for a nap. Unfortunately that's the only time I can give Ryan a shower. Even though I really just want to sleep. And a shower takes over an hour because I have to stop the IV, then cover all the bandages in plastic... then clean Ryan up... then dry him off... when all is said and done Jayden will be awake. And I will cry because I really just want to sleep.
... but it will be lunch time. And I need to change IVs, and make phone calls... and find out why our insurance isn't covering certain procedures. And they'll tell me and I'll forget cause Im pretty sure my mind is going to explode if I get any more information.
I'm going to need strength this week. And I certainly am not going to get it on my own. I pray God will help carry me through the next... I don't even want to think how long. I'm stressed. And Im overwhelmed. And Im just feeling like I can't handle much more. I'm tired. And this is all probably much worse just cause Im tired.

...sigh... New direction

Ryan is doing better. He looks tons better from last week. I think he's getting better everyday. His short term memory is still lacking. And it always make me cringe when he asks me the same question in the duration of an hour because it reminds me that things aren't okay. I know it's frustrating for him too, but he's being such a trooper. He is trying his best to help me out and I love him for it. I know this is so hard for him, but he is handling it well. I certainly do love him. I can't wait for him to get better.
We have some follow up Dr. appointments in a week. I think he'll have another MRI sometime this month. The reason for his "condition" is still unknown. It's being argued between Neurologists and Cardiologists. The Neurologists want to start him on blood thinners, however Im a bit weary about doing that. We'll see what happens!
I think the biggest thing for me to learn from this trial is that I can't do this all by myself. I have to rely on others. On God. That's hard for me. I'm still not at that point... Sorry this post is so... everywhere. Im really tired!!! :) Random thoughts and feelings.
All in all, things are going well. Ryan is doing better. We feel very blessed.

Thank You

2009-09-28T20:51:00.003-06:00

I don't know how to begin this. And I certainly don't know how to end this post.
I have been in kind of a daze all evening wondering how to put into words what I am feeling. I wish the words "Thank You" had some magic power that could truly make you understand how grateful I am. They're just words.

We feel so loved. So blessed. So supported. Thank you.

Our neighborhood (which although someday we may need a larger home, I don't know if I could ever leave now) had a bake sale to help us cover the medical expenses. I told Ryan and he asked me "Why? Why do people care about us so much?" And I couldn't answer. I don't know. I am in complete awe of the service and sacrifice that so many people contributed to, and for us?

I don't know who all helped. And I wish I could get a name of every single person and write you each individually a note. So someday we could somehow repay you. I don't think I'll ever know... but I beg of you- if you ever need it.. PLEASE let us serve you.

We love you. We truly do love you. Thank you for being our friends. Thank you for supporting us. Thank you for loving us. Thank you for your time, for your generosity. Thank you for stopping by- for your hugs.. your texts your concerns. Our lives have been changed. And please allow us to serve you.

Thank you to my mom who drives nearly everyday 100 miles to watch Jayden while I stay with Ryan in the hospital. And my Grandma, Grandpa and Aunt who drive from Mapleton to give my mom a break. And thank you to our sweet neighbor who takes over when my mom has to leave and has watched him nearly everyday so he can have consistency. Thank you for the food. The money. The prayers and thoughts. To my inlaws who go visit Ryan everyday so he's not lonely when I have to go back home to take care of Jayden. Thank you for your offers of help. Thanks for the bake sale. For opening up an account for donations. Thank you to everyone who spent the time making baked goods and to those who bought them and contributed.

I am overwhelmed. I'm sorry if I sound cheesy or repetitive. I'm sorry if I didn't thank you well enough. I don't feel like I have. I feel like this is not enough. Please tell me if you need anything. I can clean and watch kids... and book flights. And I have a few buddy passes if you need to fly somewhere. And Ryan can do handy man stuff (even without short term memory... I'll help). I know not everyone reads my blog so if you know someone who helped please pass on my appreciation.

Thank You
Thank You
Thank You

We do not deserve this.

Updates..

2009-09-25T19:57:00.003-06:00

Sorry there hasn't been an update in a while. I have been so tired.. and so blah.

Ryan is in a rehabilitation center in Sandy called Health South.. or South Health? Something like that? He seems to be getting better every day. He has been taking cognitive tests and where yesterday he could only remember up to three things- today he could remember four.

I was in the room when they were giving him this test. It was kind of depressing to me. They asked him to tell them every animal he could think of. And he could only come up with 8 animals. He seems perfectly fine.. but then they ask these questions and it's hard. It's hard because two weeks ago Ryan would have just laughed at those questions. And now he's just trying to get his brain back.

Everyone keeps telling me Im so strong. Asking me how I do it. How am I so calm? I dont think reality has ever completely set in. I take it one day at a time but I try hard not to think about the future. Try not to think about the past. Just focus on one day at a time. I think it has been my coping method. I have to be strong for Jayden. And I have to be strong for Ryan as he is finally comprehending (Somewhat) what has happened.

Last night around midnight I was laying in bed. And there wasn't anyone around that I needed to be strong for. And I was alone. And reality creeped it's way into my head. I miss Ryan. I miss him next to me in bed. I miss not having any concerns about his health.
I love him. And I should have been a better wife. I should have appreciated everything he did more. Because now he can't. And Im struggling with that.
I don't know if he'll ever be completely back to normal. And that scares me. I just want everything to go back to normal. If life could just go back to Sunday September 13th- I would have appreciated that day so much more. If we could go back to Monday... I wish I had known what was going on with his body. I should have paid more attention to him being sick instead of just leaving him be. He probably had a stroke at home and I didn't even know it. I wasn't there. I was just cleaning the house. Tending to Jayden. And I was resenting the Ryan was in bed sick because I had to do everything by myself. And now I feel really selfish.
I don't need reassurance. I know time can't be turned back. I know that "I never could have known". I've learned from this. And if things ever do return to normal- I will appreciate it more. I just miss him so much. Not just his presence in our home- but the old Ryan. The Ryan before the stroke. I want him back.

So updates thus far:
I mentioned he is doing better mentally. Physically he is starting to be a bit more mobile. He can't use his arms at all for the next 2 months. But he has walked like 500 feet. And he can stand for longer periods of time.
The pathology report came back. I don't know if I written this before but the Cardiologist Drs had said it DEFINITELY was not a clot. Even after the removed it- they called it a tumor. So I was a little surprised when the report actually came back saying it was indeed a blood clot. A blood clot, covered in infection inside and out. That whole area of the heart was inflamed because of the infection which is why the removed some of the wall of the heart. And its still confirmed that it's not cancerous.
Apparently Ryan has something in his blood that makes him prone to blood clots. They want to start him on blood thinners but won't start until Monday or Tuesday because they are worried about bleeding in the brain which would cause further brain damage. The Dr. said it's a fine line because they want to prevent clots AND they want to prevent brain damage. And they can't really do both. I'm very apprehensive about him being on blood thinner because risks are high when you're on them. You bleed more.. and longer. If you get some head damage you're a goner because you're brain is SO likely to bleed in your blood is thin. I wish I had the education that a Doctor has. Would I make the same decision?
Ryan wants to come home. I understand. I know he's lonely and bored there. I try to visit him as much as I can but it's only for a few hours a day. I have been watching the Physical, Occupational, and Speech therapists and they don't do anything that I couldn't do with Ryan at home. They want him to stay till next Saturday. I may decide to have him come home earlier. Just so we can try to get in some sort of routine before I start work again. I think I'll wait till Sunday or Monday and then make a decision. I'd be fine with in home care. Or driving Ryan to some place to do this therapy. I just want to do whatever is best for him.
Ryan only got paid half a paycheck today. Im freaking out a little because I thought he would get his PTO and he didn't. I called his HR person in NJ and they said they thought it would too. The panic in that sense it starting. Luckily thanks to some amazing neighbors we don't need to worry about groceries for a little while. I cannot believe the generosity of people. Thank you.

I'm sorry this is turning into a novel. When people ask me how things are I give the routine answers.. And here Im pouring my soul. But I feel better :)
Maybe next time someone asks I'll give them my blog address... if you REALLY want to know... :)

Anyway- have a good weekend! It may be the last weekend with warm weather!

Surprise

2009-09-22T17:41:00.002-06:00

Imagine my surprise when I got the hospital this morning to find a note on his whiteboard saying they were planning on discharging him from the hospital tomorrow. Someone who had open heart surgery 3 days ago. Who is recovering from strokes. "Why?" I asked. Because... our insurance doesn't cover U of U. Fabulous. They will cover parts of it. But only parts they agree to. Our max out of pocket goes up... And our cap goes down. Oh and anything that our insurance refuses to pay- we get to pick up that tab. So really, I was told, we can forget about our "maximum out of pocket" expense being the most we will have to pay.

The good news- and maybe the bad news?- One of his Dr's didn't think it was appropriate to send Ryan home so soon. He is encouraging the Hospital to release Ryan to a Rehabilitation Center for the next 7-10 days. A lot more days of Ryan being gone.. and me trying to balance seeing Ryan and seeing Jayden. But at least he'd get the help that he needs. We will find out tomorrow if he comes home or goes to Rehab.

On the same lines of frustration I am trying really really hard to get all the paperwork done so we can get disability for these duration (of hopefully only) months that Ryan can't work. The Doctors need to fill out some of this paperwork. As soon as possible. So we can live. Is it any priority to them. Their excuse for not getting them to me today is because they're busy. Busy? They're getting their paychecks once a week... Cant you just take a few minutes??

On a brighter note- reflecting back on the last week- I am so grateful for everything that happened. Seeing everything clearly now- it seems that Ryan has had this tumor growing in his heart for possibly years. As a mentioned before it is extremely rare for a tumor to grow in the left ventricle of the heart. We would have never ever known about it unless Ryan had gotten this blood infection.

The Doctor's told me that for a blood infection to go to a tumor in the heart is unheard of. But that's where this infection settled. But had it not settled in that mass in the heart.. I can only imagine what would have happened had he not been hospitalized. He would have been going about his normal life.. a piece of the mass would have broken off and he would have died. With no warning. The Lord truly does work in miraculous ways. It's not Ryans time to go. He keeps getting really down on himself. Depressed about what is happening to him. But as I keep reminding him... his life is a miracle.

Moreso- apparently the Dr's were not expecting him to make it through the surgery. They were very doom and gloom. They were almost sure he would suffer some sort of severe brain damage. We didn't realize it until after they performed the surgery. And I'm glad I had no idea about their "optimism". But it was another miracle. God wants this man alive :) And thank goodness!

So despite all the frustration.. the heartbreak.. the tiredness. Im grateful.

We have been so blessed by the servive of others. I have been more humbled in the last week than I think I have ever been in my life. I hope that someday we can encounter a large sum of money and can pay you all back for your kindness and generosity. I have been overwhelmed. I wish I could do something to repay every one of you. I pray the Lord will bless you beyond your needs. Thank you everyone for your care and concern. We feel so much love and I just can't thank you enough.

Ryan has been doing better. He took about four walks today. They have one of his chest tubes out- and are planning on taking the second one out tomorrow. His memory is so much better. It's still not all there- but we're hoping in time we will completely recover.

Jayden and I got pretty sick from being in the Hospital so much but we're recovering pretty well. Im finally getting to the point where I can go to sleep at night and that is helping a lot. If only Jayden would get the memo that it's okay to sleep through the night..

Anyway- again thank you for your thoughts and prayers. We love you guys.

Bad Day

2009-09-19T21:51:00.003-06:00

I'm about hit my breaking point. Im burnt out.
Had to take Jayden to insta care today. They told me not to worry. Told me he was at the end of whatever virus. Told me he has asthma. Interesting. Why does he have a fever. How many time will he get up tonight?

Ryan doing worse today. He was doing so good yesterday. Today he wouldnt even talk. Didn't even acknowledge me at first. Somethings wrong. I dont know what it is but there is something wrong. Nurses make me mad.

I dont know if I can handle much more. I feel guilty. Guilty for not being there enough for my crying son. Or for my sick husband.

But I better go tend to my crying son.

**Edit** 10:45

Not all nurses make me mad. Some of the nurses have been absolutely incredible. Im sure because we've made it to the fourth floor it's much harder for the nurses to be on top of things since they have so many patients.

Sorry for being so negative. I'm just tired. Ryan's alive. Dr's said they honestly didnt think he would make it through the surgery alive. He did. I need to be more grateful.

The surgery

2009-09-18T19:35:00.002-06:00

I have been completely overwhelmed by the love and concern of friends and family. I cannot thank you enough for your prayers, fasting and thoughts. It appears that it helped immensely!
We (Ryan's parents, sister and I) came to the hospital around four in the morning. The most difficult part was saying goodbye to Ryan as they wheeled him out the OR. I just didn't know what his state would be when he returned and the Dr's were a little bit doom and gloom. Maybe they are supposed to be that way... to make us feel better when it doesn't turn out doom and gloom.
They told us the surgery could take up to six hours. They were done in three. They removed the tumor (mass) and checked it. It was cancer free so they removed it and sewed him back up. They don't know what it is and they havent seen anything like it ever before. Whatever it is- it is covered in a bad infection inside and out. The Dr. told us we should know by Tuesday what it is. He said he had a lot of theories but can't give us any information until all the tests come back. It COULD grow back. it COULD be this... or that. But I feel peaceful about whatever it is.
Ryan doesn't appear to have suffered any more brain damage. His short term memory is still not good. But after the surgery he has made improvements. He told me he was at U of U hospital. He had never been able to tell me that before. It made me so excited. He's asking me about his job every 30 minutes. "Did you tell my job??" "what did they say?". I think that is probably the question I have answered most this last week. Every 15 minutes. :) Typical Ryan.
The Surgical ICU is closed right now but Im anxious to ask him to see if he can remember the things that were repeated over and over again an hour and a half ago.
Good news- they were able to take his breathing tube out only minutes after the surgery. As long as you keep reminding him to breathe he does really great. I'm feeling very optimistic. I know things can change... but I think he'll pull through this.
He will be here for a week or so. Tomorrow I will try and start the process of disability. Im taking a two week personal leave from work. Its unpaid which sucks but hopefully it'll give me time to sort out this stress and give me the ability to work a lot of hours to pay bills... I need some motivation. If Ryan's able to care for Jayden that will be great- we'll see how he does though.
So Im doing OK. Seeing him alive and not any worse after his surgery lifted a huge burden off of me. Maybe I'll be able to sleep now... Jayden is doing well. A little more emotional than normal. My mom has been such a huge help. Ryan's parents... Im so grateful for friends and family. I can't say that enough. Thank you so much everyone. The ways the Dr's were talking I really think Ryan's recovery is and is going to be a miracle. Hopefully no more bumps along the road.
Faith has been renewed. And my love and appreciation for my husband has increased 100 fold. I feel good about the future. It's going to be tough. But I feel like I will be able to have the strength to handle it.

Ryan's heart

2009-09-17T19:21:00.002-06:00

This is going to be quick.

They got the results on the MRI for Ryan's heart. It does not look like a blood clot though we really want it to be because that would be best case scenario. just talked to cardiologist and they say it is most likely a tumor. They told me they have never seen anything like this before. In this particular spot of the heart nor this type of mass. He said he did some research and he has never heard of this situation ever before...

Tomorrow they will do open heart surgery. Ryan has had mini strokes in the last two days. They have affected his memory. His short term memory is no longer exisitent- but they hope that will change over time. One of the strokes was in the memory part of the brain.

The risks of this surgery is causing more damage to the brain because they have to use a blood thinner to do the surgery. Using a blood thinner may cause the spots in his brain that suffered during his mini strokes to become worse and perhaps permanant. So possible brain damage.

There are also the risks of bleeding and infection.

Tomorrow I will start to process of applying for disability.. and maybe finding a job for the meantime.

Recovery in the meantime can take 1-6 months they said. If all goes well. It may take him that long to get his memory back. We are hoping it doesn't... I hope we dont have to live on disability for that long.

Thank you for fasting and praying for us. We all feel your prayers. I appreciate your service. I know I may be needing to lean on you the next while and I appreciate your willingness.
Please don't ask me how I am. I'm just trying to handle this- but youre welcome to ask how ryan is say "whats up?" :) I can't handle "how are you?" right now. I'm not good.

Surgery will be tomorrow. I don't know when we will know whether or not there will be brain damage.

If the tumor is cancerous they will remove part of the heart. If not... yay! They will still remove the tumor.

Please keep your prayers coming.

Sorry for my spelling.. spell check doesn't work at the hospital. :) I'm not smart right nwo.

Update on Ryan + edit

2009-09-16T21:57:00.003-06:00

I have been wondering if I should blog about this... It wasn't something I really wanted to do but at this point I know there have been a lot of unanswered phone calls, texts and emails. I apologize for that. It has been hard to keep on top of it. And for that I truly am grateful. Thank you so much for your love and support. Knowing you have family and friends who love you and are praying for you makes any trial bearable.
This is the latest:
Monday morning Ryan came home from work sick. He had a fever. I gave him some Tylenol and sent him upstairs. Almost 24 hours later he still had not gotten out of bed and had not eaten anything. I brought him up some toast and demanded he eat. I put Jayden down for a nap.. switched the laundry and heard a big thump from upstairs.
I assumed at the time that some furniture had fallen over. After going upstairs I saw Ryan was no longer in bed. I checked the bathroom to see if he had fallen and he wasn't thre either. Finally I looked in Jayden's room where Ryan was laying on the floor half naked. He had just collapsed. I asked him what he was doing and he said "going to the party" I asked him who I was and if he knew where he was. He didnt. I called 911 and they arrived shortly.
Ryan was completely delusional. At the hospital he couldn't remember my name. He mentally was not there. he would say rubberish. It was really hard. His fever was 103-104. His blood pressure low. His pulse high. They started sooo many tests. Spinal tap, CT Scan, chest xray... they did not know what was going on. After the CT scan they determined he had an infection in the brain and started him on antibiotics. Ryan stayed delusional and confused throughout the night.
Today it was determined that the infection may actually be coming from the blood. They scheduled and MRI and also ordered an EKG (Something to sort of view the heart). After the EKG it was determined Ryan has an abnormality in his heart. They don't know if it's a tumor or a blood clot. They can't do an MRI until tomorrow. If it's a blood clot they can't give him blood thinners until they kill the infection. But they still are not 100% sure what the infection is.
Right now if he has a blood clot he is at a high risk for a stroke. We are praying the blood clot doesn't go to his brain. If it does he will have a stroke. Unfortunately it cannot be treated until they are able to figure out what it is.
So to be honest I don't know what it is. And I don't know what or if we need anything. I think it is good news that we now that there is an abnormality in the heart and I hope and think it's something treatable.
We should have answers tomorrow when they are able to do an MRI on the heart. From that point I'm not sure what will happen. It depends on the news.
Ryan is doing well. When he gets a fever (Which is happening pretty often) he turns into a crazy. Living in alternate realities. He is still sarcastic though so I know HE is still there... somewhere :) So sometimes he'll be completely with you... and then he'll be gone... but it's a big improvement from last night.
Thank you so much for your prayers.. your love. your support.
I think everything is going to be okay. I know we'll be able to handle whatever this throws at us. I will try to keep this updated.. but depending on the outcome it may take a while.
Thank you again. For those I haven't responded to yet I am really sorry. I will try to make contact soon.

**edit**
Sorry I meant to answer a few questions:

*Ryan is at UofU Hospital. He is the the NCCU (Neurological Critical Care Unit). Because it's critical care he cannot have visitors. Not even Jayden can see him :( (Only immediate family but nobody under 10)

*I was just with him around midnight and he was very alert with his fever down. His short term memory is shot can't remember anything past 3-4 months ago. Still thinks it's June. He has a nurse who is monitoring him in his room the whole night. If the blood clot seperates and goes to the brain.. bad news.

*I have informed his work- and they have been willing to work with us even though Ryan gave his two weeks already! Yipes! If there is an infection in the blood it's due to a cut he got at work which means workers comp... Wouldn't that be nice?

*Jayden is doing well. He hasn't seemed to notice. My mom is watching him in the mornings and I have had friends come over (Thank you!) tonight to watch him while I was in the hospital. I may need some additional help depending on how long Ryan is in the hospital.. and whether or not they will ever let Jayden see him. Thank you for the offers.

*My diabetes has been okay. Not really GREAT. The stress has been kind of knocking my numbers everywhere- but I'm not too worried about it. I think it'll be just fine.

It has been a while...

2009-09-13T23:00:00.002-06:00

Sorry for the long delay in an update. I didn't want to post anything on the WWW until the "offer" was official.
Thank you all for the wonderful advice! I'm glad I have such smart friends and family :)
Since Ryan and I had less than a 24 hour window to make a decision we did some hardcore praying. We ended up feeling pretty good about the decision of accepting the new job and so Ryan did. Since it's a job working at the airport he had to fill out a bunch of background checks, do drug screenings and wait for all of his references to go through. That took a couple of weeks.
Finally on Friday "the lady" called him and told him everything passed and they want him to start in two weeks. So tomorrow he will give his two week notice which he is really nervous about doing :(
So yes- there will still be a pay cut... And I'm not sure how we'll handle that. But I'm sure we will manage. I'll probably need to pick up more hours when Ryan doesn't get overtime. BUT I can do that. I'm not fond of it. But I can do that.
We have a set plan to get out of debt (everything but the house) in 4 1/2 years. That seems so far away!!! Ryan's new job will pay for all of his schooling which is fabulous. So the future looks bright :)
I think at first things will be hard- but I'm glad it's a job where he can grow. And I think it's something he will really enjoy doing. He loves being out there working on the planes.

What we know so far is that he will be working graves. That is kind of a bummer. I work graves too. And he has in the past so we know how much it wipes you out! Jayden is going to have some tired parents!! If he is still working those hours by the time my schedule changes I'll probably need to change my hours around.

One thing I'm especially anxious about is a two week training I have coming up. It's a mandatory training I have to attend for work in Sandy. 5 days a week. I scheduled it in accordance with Ryan's current schedule not knowing he was going to change jobs- and thus his schedule would change. I will be gone from 3:25-10:30 Sun-Tues and then from Fri-Sat. If Ryan is working graves he will have to go to work around 9? And I'm not sure what we'll do since Jayden will be in bed sleeping. And he won't sleep anywhere but his own bed. We'll battle that hill when it comes. Maybe his schedule will be different the first week?

Anyway- that's the update on the job situation. It's an exciting time. Thank you for your support!!

(Sorry for any typos or grammatic errors... I am working- and too tired to read through what I just wrote).

It's late...

2009-08-28T00:56:00.004-06:00

I'm working... it's slow... and I have a lot on my mind. Hellllllo blogging world :)

So life took an unexpected turn these last few days... It started off a week ago when a job opened up at the company Ryan currently works for as a supervisor. We were really excited about the opportunity because it meant MORE MONEY. And we really could use some MORE MONEY. (Who knew a new baby could make you SO POOR!)
Ryan updated his resume- and applied. Our hopes were high... but he was never called in for an interview. :( We were bummed.
On Thursday Ryan was at work and a woman from "Undisclosed company" called Ryan's cell phone. She said she found his resume and jobs.utah.gov (He had posted it on that website over THREE years ago!), and they were interested in interviewing him for a job that would be located at the airport- working on commercial planes. She asked him to apply online- which he did on Friday.
On Monday she called him again and asked him to come in for an interview on Wednesday. He was really nervous- but apparently did great because the very next day they called him and offered him the job.

The Pros:
*The Benefits are AMAZING. SO much better than the health benefits we have now.
*They will pay for Ryan to go to school.
*They are only 11 miles away (as opposed to 40 miles)
*It's a BIG company- lots of room for advancement
*It will give Ryan lots of experience in the field he wants to pursue: Electrical Engineering.

The Cons:
*It pays less :( (BIG CON)
*He would have to work graves
*He would most likely have to work Holidays + weekends.
*It would involve a decent amount of traveling.

They're trying to negotiate on the pay- but it is 100% sure he wouldn't make as much as he makes now. I honestly don't see how we can afford to do that. Will we just be able to make due? We have been trying to be so strict with everything I can't even imagine making less money. I COULD work more. But I really don't want to.

On the other hand there is so much more opportunity with this new offer. Keeping in mind Ryan works on contract right now- so he's only guaranteed his current job job for another year... Of course nowadays what job is guaranteed?

I hate these big decisions that have such a huge impact on our future. Should he stay or should he go? The killer is he has to call her in a few hours and tell her yes or no. We haven't even had a full 24 hours to ponder this...

I don't feel BAD about this new opportunity. Does that mean it's the right thing to do?

I love this boy...

2009-08-20T21:20:00.003-06:00

3 days a week I do a deep cleaning of the house. I usually start during Jayden's afternoon nap and finish up when Ryan gets home and can occupy Jayden. On Monday Ryan went out 4-wheeling with some friends and was gone all day. I was still determined to get as much cleaning done as I could. Jayden was pretty good but towards the end he was following me around whining. I held him- and he was still whining (I wish he could talk already!). Finally I wondered if he wanted to clean (Seriously- WHO WOULDN'T want to clean?). I handed him a swiffer and he went to town. Toys cannot even entertain this boy for more than ten minutes... but with that swiffer he was still going after fifteen minutes. I was beaming with joy :) So I vacuumed the kitchen floor while he swiffed. We make a great time. Eventually he got tired of the swiffer- which was good cause I needed it to mop. He got to his "whiny" stage again. This time I gave him a wet wash cloth. FORTY FIVE minutes he wiped cupboards, the floor, chairs... It was the cutest thing ever. That's my boy!! I hope it lasts! Here's a video I took 15 minutes after I had finished cleaning:
I hope this will last... forever! :)

The Race

2009-08-16T21:59:00.005-06:00

On Monday the 13th of August there were two races... Husband against Wife :) Husband won the first. Wife won the second (more important one- Go Gina!) ;)
Here is some video and pictures of the race. I wasn't able to catch the end of the last race because my camera's memory card reached it's limit half way through. Darn it. I wish I had caught the look of determination on Gina's face towards the end. It was perfect.

The cool shirts the guys are wearing are courtesy of Mr. Dobson. ;) As is Tara's and Jayden's shirt. Everyone looked great! :)
It was fun-- will there be a rematch??

Thought provoking

2009-08-07T00:54:00.002-06:00

My mom runs a website called ldsbookcorner.com and sends out "a chapter a day" type things of different books by lds authors. It's not really a whole chapter a day but it's a taste of the book and the author. This week she is highlighting a book by Timothy L Carver, called That's Faith! I think I may need to buy it :)

Anyway excerpt really turned on a lighbulb in my head and I wanted to share it to turn on lightbulbs everywhere :)

"I have had prayers answered. Those answers were most clear when what I wanted was silenced by an overpowering need to know what God wanted. It is then that the answer from a loving Heavenly Father can be spoken to the mind by the still, small voice and can be written on the heart."1

I once began a seminary lesson by saying something that totally surprised my students. I had a large black marker in my hand and said, "Last night I found a verse in the Book of Mormon that is completely false. I'd like you to turn to Mormon 9:21 with me and let's blot it out with this marker."

My students looked at me suspiciously. They sensed I was teasing, but they were curious. They turned to Mormon 9:21: "Behold, I say unto you that whoso believeth in Christ, doubting nothing, whatsoever he shall ask the Father in the name of Christ it shall be granted him; and this promise is unto all, even unto the ends of the earth" (Mormon 9:21).

I then asked, "How many of you have ever asked for something in prayer that you didn't get?"

Quite a few hands went up.

"So this verse can't possibly be true. It says whatsoever we ask for will be granted. We've all asked for things we didn't get. So I think it's best to strike out this verse so we're not disappointed anymore."

My students smiled skeptically. I continued. "Let me prove my point. When I was about six years old my two favorite television shows were Superman and Mighty Mouse. I loved to watch them because both superheroes could do something I desperately wanted to do-fly!

"One summer morning I got up and had a great thought. I'd been told in Primary that Heavenly Father hears our prayers and will answer them if we have faith. I knelt at my bedside and told Heavenly Father how desperately I wanted to fly. I told Him I knew I could if He would help me.

"Convinced that my prayer would be answered, I climbed the stairs from my basement bedroom and into our kitchen. My mom was preparing breakfast. "I walked into the bathroom, pinned a towel around my neck (everyone knows you can't fly unless you have a cape) and then stuffed a wash cloth under my shirt so it looked like I had muscles like Mighty Mouse and Superman. Then I walked back into the kitchen and headed for our side door.

"'Ready for some pancakes?' my mom asked.

"I looked at her as if to say, 'Mom, breakfast is kid's stuff. I've got a lot more exciting things to do.'

"I walked out the door and onto our concrete porch. It was about three feet high. I remember saying one more prayer just to make sure: 'Please, please, please Heavenly Father, please help me fly.'

"I opened my eyes, took a deep breath and jumped."

My students were all listening intently. "What do you think happened?" I asked.

"You landed in a big pile on the ground," one of them joked.

"Exactly. I didn't fly. Even though I did everything in Mormon 9:21. So you see why it's important that we scratch out that verse?"

My students weren't sure how to respond. Then I said that I'd never been able to explain that verse until I read something in the Bible Dictionary that totally changed my understanding about prayer:

Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them.

Christians are taught to pray in Christ's name. We pray in Christ's name when our mind is the mind of Christ, and our wishes the wishes of Christ. . . . Many prayers remain unanswered because they are not in Christ's name at all; they in no way represent his mind, but spring out of the selfishness of man's heart (Bible Dictionary, "Prayer," 752-53).

I told my students that I finally understood why many of my prayers had not been answered. I was saying 'in the name of Jesus Christ' but my prayers weren't really in His name because I wasn't asking for what He would have asked for.

We read another scripture: "Whatsoever you ask the Father in my name it shall be given unto you, that is expedient for you" (D&C 88:64). The word expedient means needful or necessary.

"So how do we know if something we're asking for is necessary?" I asked. Again, my students didn't know how to respond.

I explained that the Lord teaches us how to know if something is expedient: "Ask the Father in my name, in faith believing that you shall receive, and you shall have the Holy Ghost, which manifesteth all things which are expedient unto the children of men" (D&C 18:18).

In other words, if we listen to the promptings of the Spirit we will know what we should ask for, thus making our prayers truly in the name of Jesus Christ.

Kind of long.. but if you have time.. It's a good read :)

Jayden One Year Cont..

2009-07-31T00:51:00.006-06:00

I got some pictures from my CUTE cousin Erica from Jayden's birthday party on Saturday. www.ericathurmanphotography.blogspot.com Thanks Erica for sharing your talent :) And here are the videos. If you're not family you probably don't want to watch them cause they're kind of long :) As I mentioned before we had a lot of people come and it was SO nice. His great grandparents on both sides, His Great-aunts and Uncles. His second cousins. His great great Aunt Nana (We didn't get a picture :( ) And of course Grandma and Grandpa and all my siblings (Jaydens Aunt and Uncles). He got a lot of CUTE outfits, toys, and music. My favorite gift was from my mom. She printed out all of my blog entries from my pregnancy and put them in a scrapbook. It meant a lot to me to be able to reflect back on those times. THANKS MOM!!

Flashback Friday

2009-07-30T23:33:00.002-06:00

Today's FLASHBACK FRIDAY will be ALL of my journal entries from when I was 10...
Good thing I didn't write in my journal very often, huh?

April 20th
Dear Diary,
Today we are celebrating Jeremy's B-day. I got jeremy some bubbles. We are tryin to sell our house. We sure haven't had any luck. I just turned ten. I got a bike for my birthday. I also ot a new outfit, books, a card game, and a radio. I'm listening to it right now! Yes I do have a boyfriend his name is Andrew. I think he likes me too. We are going to go bike riding. See ya!
Love,
Tiffany
P.S. date July 5, I HATE ANDREW!!!! (BIG TIME)

---
July 4th
Dear diary,
It has been the worst fourth of July ever! It started out in the morning we were going hiking. On the way of our hiking trip we saw a dog. We were going to take it home but it had ticks. So we were pretty mad about the dog having ticks. So my mom said "let's go to the animal shelter to get a dog" So it turned out the animal shelter was closed. Then my parents had second thoughts and said "We're not getting a dog till we move" So of course I was very, very, very mad. Then it was time for the fireworks. They were all the same and half of them were dull.
Goodnight,
Tiffany

---
July 5th
Dear Diary,
We got a dog! It's seven weeks old. It is so small and cute. We got er this morning. Her name is Princess. I took her for a walk two times today. I know I wrote yesterday saying that we couldn't get a dog but things changed. It all started today my parents felt guilty I guess. and said we would visit the animal shelter but were NOT BUYING A DOG! When we went in we fell in love with the dog and got it! Oh yeah
Sincerly,
Tiffany

---
Aug 7th

Dear diary,
I guess I should write more often. I got an E-mail pal. Her name is Lacey. We plan to be roomates. She lives in Texas. Today was a good day. We went to church. After church we went over to m moms friends house. It was a good fun visit. Some new people moved in. They have a ten year old son who is cute!!!!
Your friend
writer
pal
diary girl,
Tiffany

---
Aug 26th
Dear To Be, (By the way this one was all in cursive.. my BEST handwriting... with hearts and lips doodled all over it)
We went to Chuckie Cheeses to celebrate Steven's Birthday. My brother got a micro-scope, a car set, and a race track. Stuff is the same we're doing chores and getting ready for the big move. Tonight we cleaned out the garage. I better go.
Your Love,
Tiffany

---
Sept 23rd
Dear Jornal,
There is going to be a looner eclipse! Princess is okay, so is maria. Our relatives came from Calafornia. We went to a zoo. Okay here it goes about boys and such. Theres a boy across the street who likes me. Do I like him? Not exactly. But theres a boy I do like and heres why: a. Hes a member of the church. b. He's funny. c. I think he likes me. d. Hes a big athlete. We are still doing homeschool. We learning about Indians.
Got to go,
Tiffany

--
Spet 29th
Dear Jornal,
I met a girl named Lisa. We had a blast! Though I got grounded. for a day. Princess and Maria is Okay. So is everyone else. I just did mager cleaning in my room. Okay this is not my best handwrittin (or spelling) But here it is... As for boys.. Nah! Life is OKay. Got to go.
Sincerly,
Tiffany

---
Oct 14th

Dear Jornal,
Christmas is soon! (okay, mabey not very soon.) Were trying to potty-train princess. I've started an odd-job service, though I haven't had any callers, "YET" Princess is ok. So is Maria. I don't like any boys! Me and Lisa have gotten to be good friends. Though Lacy is still my very very best friend. Jenny and Tasha may be coming out! Today we went to Bloomington. We have moved and live in Sycamore. Well actually we have been here a month. Got to go.
Your writer
pal
friend secret,
Tiffany

.... In conclusion. Apparently the well being of my dog Princess and cat Maria was very important to me as it seems I wrote about them every time. I could not spell Journal, or sincerely. And maybe I was a little boy crazy??? Always fun looking back. If you didn't think I was weird before... now you know I am :)

Jayden's First Birthday

2009-07-27T01:30:00.006-06:00

Im a little late on getting this up. I was waiting to get some pictures of Jayden's party- but still don't have any so I will blog those later.

On Jayden's actual Birthday my mom drove up to watch him while I slept (I worked the night before.) He was excited to get his first present.

We went out to lunch. And had a lot of fun. Thanks mom!

Later that afternoon we had Ryan's parents, sister and grandma over to have some cake and open presents.

I decided I would be "Domestic" and make Jayden's cake. I found cake and frosting w/o milk and went away. So I'm never baking a cake ever again... cause it turned out horrible!! When I took the cake out of the pan it broke into 3 pieces... I tried to glue it back together w/ the frosting.. And it still looked... interesting? So... here's the outcome:

Jayden enjoyed it anyway

His grandma and grandpa bought him a little truck that he can push, ride on, or pull. It has been so fun watching him play on it. :) He's growing up too fast!!

On Saturday my parents threw a party for him down in Orem. He is the first generation on my mom's side so a lot of people came and I am SO grateful to have that support and love. It was so neat to see everyone and great to celebrate with them. I don't have any pictures yet (hopefully soon!... Mom... Erica...?) but I will post some videos for the family who wasn't able to make it. Love you guys and THANK YOU!!!!

Cat... Baby's best friend??

2009-07-27T00:07:00.006-06:00

Shortly after Ryan and I started dating my cat of 11 years passed away. It was really hard for me. Ryan apparently was not very close to any animals growing up because he didn't understand my pain :)

But because we were so in love- he wanted to make me happy so he bought "us" a new feline friend. We named her Emmy.

See her sticking her tongue out?? Kind of her personality. Wasn't really into cuddling. And her attitude only got worse when we brought Shadow

Into the picture. Emmy ignored us. She destroyed things. She even buried my bra in her liter box (Ask me about that story sometime) out of vengeance.
A couple of years later she forgave us. And occasionally would even lay on the bed with us. Until...

Bella came into the family. Emmy was angry and punished us as she could... That's her style. I was very anxious to see what would happen once Jayden was born.

And a strange thing happened. She loved Jayden. Always wanted to be around him... Suddenly she was more cuddly ... she LOVED Jayden

And she still does... Jayden loves Emmy. But since he is little he doesn't know HOW to treat her. He has pulled her around by the tail... and she came back to him. He lays on top of her... All 23 pounds of him.. And she still comes back. I'm not sure what is going on with Emmy... but she LOVES Jayden and is willing to take a lot of abuse for the sake of love

Jayden's Allergist

2009-07-23T00:00:00.005-06:00

I don't think I'll be doing another allergist appointment ever again :)
Here's how it went:

We arrived 15 mins prior to the appointment as was advised. I wasn't expecting any problems. Jayden had just had lunch. He was due for his nap but since the paper they sent me told me it would be an hour appointment- I knew he would be able to make it through.

This Dr. was the ONLY Allergist Jayden's pediatrician would recommend. Claiming she was the BEST. It took 4 weeks to get an appointment with her so I was expecting the best...

Anyway- Arriving 15 minutes early- we were still in the waiting room for a half hour. It's okay. It happens. Jayden was content with flirting with the women in the waiting room.. so I was content :)

They called us in and weighed Jayden. The girl who weighed Jayden asked me to explain why we were there. So I told her about Jayden's suspected Milk allergy. Explained to her what happened when we gave him milk, and what happens now if he even has a trace of milk.

She told me the Dr. would be in shortly. 45 minutes we waited in the small room with no toys (no distractions for Jayden!!). At 30 minutes I assumed they had forgotten about me- so I went out to ask for the bathrooms.. there was the medical assistant sitting at the desk with her arms folded... We went to the bathroom and waited for another 15 minutes.
FINALLY the Dr. comes in and asks me why we were there. I, once again, explained. Jayden was looking up at her smiling and talking. She wouldnt even acknowledge him. No, "Hi sweetie" NOTHING. She completely ignored him as he talked to her. I hope he was telling her what a grumpy old lady she was. The Dr. said her assistant would test Jayden for allergies and left the room.

FIFTEEN minutes later the assistant came in. This is what they did to Jayden's back:

They wrote letters and lines on his back with a pen. And then they gave him a little prick with substances such as: Almonds, Milk, Bananas.. etc. under the skin. Basically if we allergic to it his skin would break out in a big red blob. They gave him 20 pricks on his back testing for 20 different foods. Jayden didn't cry once. He just flinched.

So when she was done she said she would be back in 15 minutes to check... 20 minutes later she was back, looked at him, and told me we would give it another 5 minutes. 10 minutes she was back saying that the diluted milk they put under his skin wasn't giving a positive reaction so she was going to do undiluted milk.

So she pricked him again- left for 15 minutes and there was no reaction. She decided she must not have pricked him hard enough... Did it again! And behold "He's allergic to dairy" . Well... duh? So she left and told me the Dr. would be in again to explain everything.

15ish minutes later the Dr. comes in to explain to me Jayden is allergic to all proteins in dairy. Not Lactose Intolerant. But an actual "food allergy" to the proteins found in dairy. 80% chance he'll grow out of it. She was in the office for maybe 3 minutes explaining what it means to be allergic to dairy.

She told me her assistant would be "Right In" to explain how to use an epipen should Jayden have a reaction to an accidental consumption of dairy. Five minutes... Ten Minutes... Fifteen minutes passed. Nobody came in. By this point we had been in the tiny room with no toys for over three hours. Jayden was exhausted. He was hungry. He was bawling. And I just picked up my stuff and left.

I don't know if the assistant ever came in...? And I felt very rebellious leaving a Dr. Appointment before it was actually over. But I was frustrated enough to do it. Even though that really is against my nature. Besides, I think I'll be able to figure out how to use the epipen on my own. If not- the Pharmacist can explain it to me.

Flashback Friday

2009-07-17T23:15:00.003-06:00

I am copying this from Tricia (I don't know how to do the link thing- where you click on her name and her blog appears... can someone teach me how to do that???).

Anyway a few months back all my posts were just memories. I've had a crazy life- hence have some crazy memories :) But I enjoyed writing them and sometimes at night I think of memories that I want to write about. So on occasion Im going to do a flashback friday... Here it is:

This Friday's flashback is not suitable for young or sensitive viewers. If you fall under that category- stop reading now.

It's not that "I" have unsuitable memories. I just was a naive teenager despite my surroundings. Naive and I didn't even grow up in Utah.. crazy I know.

So I had a boyfriend. He was pretty much the reason my family moved from Illinois to Utah because I was pretty sure I was going to marry him after high school. Im not sure why I "Fell in love" with him. He was six inches shorter, didn't speak English, not here LEGALLY in the US... and at the time was not LDS. ... He did get baptized eventually though :)

Anyway- let me preface this by saying I was naive.. And unfortunately still kind of am. I don't know ANYTHING about drugs. I remember being in a public pool and hearing a guy screaming "LEGALIZE MARIJUANA!!!" ...And wondering what it was and why it should be made legal. Kids in gym would talk about drugs they did with "code names" .. I think they may have been talking about drugs but it could of been alcohol... I knew drugs were bad for you from listening to DARE presentations at school. And that was good enough for me.

My boyfriend drove over one afternoon to my house. We wandered around the house a bit- and eventually headed to the backyard. (Don't worry guys- if you're thinking I DID drugs I didn't!!) He said he had to show me something- but I couldn't show or tell anyone. "Okay! Cool!" I said in my dumb naiveness. I knew I would tell whatever it was to my mom later cause I pretty much told her everything.

So he pulled out something from his pocket... a clear little Ziploc like baggy with white stuff in it. ...Powdered sugar??? I tried to look impressed... but apparently I didn't look impressed enough because he said, "You don't know what this is do you?" (Actually he said, "No sabe que es, verdad?" but Im translating for your sake). So I fessed up that I didnt. He told me it was cocaine. Now I had heard of cocaine. I knew it was a drug. And I knew it was bad. So I told him it was very bad to have- and asked him where he got it.

He told me he and his brother found it by the railroad tracks... What they were doing by the railroad trucks I don't know...

I figured we would be doing the greater good if we just got rid of it. He asked me what we should do with it. I, in all my wisdom, told him we should just dump it out. So he started to pour the contents out and the wind started to blow the powder. I remember wondering if it was possible to get high by breathing in particles of the cocaine. I was thinking of the poor neighbor kids outside who might be getting high because we were allowing cocaine to just go with the wind.

I didn't share my concerns, I just told him we should go inside and dump it in the toilet since it was windy. As we were standing over the toilet pouring the stuff in it he asked me if I knew how much it was worth. I guessed... probably too low because he told me it was over $500 worth. Then I started feeling guilty pouring it. Someone was out a lot of money..

Anyway we flushed it all down despite my guilt. Im glad my parents moved us to UTAH!!! :) My "boyfriend" was 18. I was 15. He had quite the drug history. So basically he was AN IDIOT bringing drugs to my family's house because he knew better.

I told my mom later that day and she was furious. She chewed him out quite thoroughly. I remember her saying, "Do you have any idea how dumb it is, not only to bring this to our house, but to DRIVE with cocaine on you??" ... His response? ... "Well it was in my pocket..."

I really am surprised I came out of my teenage years in one piece.

But that- was my only experience with drugs. :)

... The detailed post

2009-07-16T01:26:00.002-06:00

Okay I decided I would do a detailed post with the pictures.
It is a bittersweet day for me. A year has already passed since I had Jayden.
It came so quickly that it SCARES me. Time seems to go by way faster when you have a baby!! :)

Jayden wasn't supposed to come this early. But because of preeclampsia I was induced at 37 weeks. Looking back- I wish he would have been able to stay in the oven a little longer since his lungs weren't completely matured at delivery which caused a lot of heart break.

The first 11 days of Jayden's life was spent in the NICU. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to endure. I spent every day in the hospital- and it never felt right leaving him there when the time came to go home. I was only able to hold him for an hour a day.. some days only 15 minutes. It broke my heart. It still makes me sick thinking of all that bonding time we missed out on.

But fortunately we have more than made up for that. Jayden loves to cuddle. And being the big mama's boy he is- he has more than compensated for those 11 days I wasn't able to hold him very much.

It has been such a joy watching him grow. Watching him learn and experience new things. His personality has been so apparent since day one. He is SO mellow. I don't know how we got so lucky (it might have something to do with Ryan's genes though). He is one tough baby. He has had more shots, pokes, and bangs than any baby I know and he takes it all without tears.

Getting his teeth... now that's a different story. Lately he has been crying a lot and that breaks my heart but hopefully it'll be over soon and he can be back to my happy go lucky child.

Yes sometimes it does take a while to get this boy to crack a smile. It seems like he's just too busy analyzing things... like his daddy :)

In the last year Jayden learned:

*TO ROLL
*TO CRAWL
*CLIMB
*CLIMB UP STAIRS
*CLIMB DOWN STAIRS
*CLAP HIS HANDS
*FOLD HIS ARMS
*OPEN DRAWERS, SHELVES, DOORS
*CLIMB OUT OF HIS STROLLER
*TO SAY "MAMA, DADA, NO, WHAT, BALL"
*TO FEED BELLA HIS FOOD
*TO SHARE

....Okay seriously he learned to do a million things in the last year and it's probably really boring to read. :) Im anxious for the years to come. Tomorrow I will take his "12 month pictures"

Jayden Turns One!

2009-07-16T01:11:00.006-06:00

Happy Birthday to my baby boy!! It has flown by! Here are some pictures of the last year :) :

Fourth Of July

2009-07-13T00:50:00.006-06:00

Jayden's first Fourth was great :) I remember watching the fireworks last year anxiously waiting for Jayden's arrival. I was trying to imagine him being there with us... It was cool to have my dreams come to pass :)

Ryan's (immediate and extended) family has a tradition of going to Layton to see the fireworks. Ryan and I have gone with them the last 3 years. It's always an amazing show. We usually go there around 5 to get good parking and stay till 10:30 when the fireworks end.

This year my cousin came home from his mission and his homecoming/ my other cousins farewell was celebrated by a picnic at my Aunt and Uncles House. Jayden enjoyed being held by everyone.

The thing I love about my family (immediate and extended) are the songs they sang to me when I was little- they now sing to my little baby. Here is my Aunt Kathy singing "Trot little pony, trot to town.. Trot little pony... don't... fall... DOWN!" as Jayden was bounced on her leg. He anticipated the "Fall down!" part.

Jayden and Great Grandpa... I love it :)

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Looks good for being a great grandpa, huh??

And here we (Jayden) are in Layton waiting for the fireworks to begin:

Ryan tried to surprise Grandpa by dropping Jayden in front of him. Grandpa got a major drooling. If you click on the picture to enlarge you can see what is about to happen... I have way too much time on my hands at work :)

The many faces...

2009-07-12T23:58:00.002-06:00

Lately when Jayden gets really happy or really angry he wrinkles his nose...

We don't know where he gets it from...
(I do it MUCH better ;) )

We don't know where he gets his funny faces either...

He's SOOOOO cute- we don't know where he gets THAT from either.

The fourth and LAST day

2009-07-11T00:26:00.004-06:00

Yipes- who knew it would take me this long to blog about a vacation? Sorry if the quality of my blogs aren't very good. I write them when the whole state is sleeping... except for those crazy people who are awake and call in to airlines to book flights.

Speaking of flights- our last adventure in San Diego was this museum. An Air Force museum. We got to tour the boat that the Air Force would live on for months... it was pretty incredible. I probably would not have picked to do this... but Ryan really wanted to. So we did. It was fun :)

Later in the evening we went to the beach by the beach house our aunt and uncle were staying in. Ryan would put Jayden out right in front of the big waves and tell him to "Take it!!!" I would life Jayden up for the waves.. And we wonder WHY he's a mama's boy???

Anyway- we had a fantastic time. The weather in San Diego is beautiful!!! Is was great to see family again. And Im looking forward to more family vacations in the future!!

San Diego Day III

2009-07-05T22:31:00.005-06:00

So this has been a long time coming...

Sorry about the wait. I just wanted to build up the suspense...

I'll mainly be summing day three up with lots of pictures. I will also say that Jayden did not sleep well at all the whole trip. However by the fourth night he only woke up twice... which is a lot better than every 1 1/2 hours.

He LOVED Seaworld. I wasn't sure how he would do since he is still so little. And Im sure he won't remember it when he is older but he was fascinated by everything. He did okay during the shows... although he didn't really watch the actual shows.. He preferred to watch the people watching the shows. A little observer just like his Daddy :)

Anyway here are the pics:

Although he didn't sleep at night he managed a few cat naps in the car seat... and he was out cold :)

Maybe I'll be breast feeding for a bit longer...

2009-07-02T18:46:00.002-06:00

Today was a really scary day. Jayden has gotten to the age where I decided I should slowly start trying to wean him. We tried formula- and it didn't work so I decided I would try to wean him to whole milk.

I researched online and talked to friends and decided I would give him a bottle with 75% breast milk and 25% whole milk. I had tried it with formula before and he wouldn't take it- so I was keeping my fingers crossed.
I went and bought some whole milk and the store- pumped some breast milk and waited for him to get hungry. Around 4 he started to get hungry. I mixed the milk and breast milk and offered it to him. He chugged it down and I was SO excited. Imagining my freedom as he drank away.
About 5 minutes after he finished the bottle and as I was carrying him downstairs he threw up a TON... I took another couple of steps. More vomit... He threw up five times. If you know Jayden you know he is so mellow. Throwing up didn't seem to phase him at all. And since he didn't seem like he was in pain- I wasn't TOO worried.
I took him upstairs to take a bath since he was soaked in throw up. I set him down in the tub and he started acting really strange. He kept falling over. It's like he didn't have any balance. He wouldn't cry he would just try to reach out to me and then fall.. and then try again. I was starting to get really worried. I picked him up and just as I did he started to wheeze. Within seconds his face was swelling up and hives were breaking out all over his face.
I yelled down to Ryan, "We have to go to the hospital, NOW!"
The rest is a blur. I put a diaper on him.. he seemed to be going in and out... I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off looking for my shoes, looking for the keys grabbing clothes for Jayden... looking for the Dr's phone number. All while carrying my little boy who seemed to be having a very hard time breathing.
I tried dialing his Dr;s number twice but I was shaking so hard it took me three times. Im surprised I had any coordination at all...

We need an instacare a lot closer to our house!!! It took us over 15 minutes to get there. By the time we did get to the right building - Jayden's eyes were swollen shut with goo coming out of them. He had thrown up on me. We must have looked pretty white trash as I had throw up all over my shirt and on the crotch of my pants. And Jayden was wearing the first thing I had grabbed out of the drawer... a shirt that was way to big for him and pajama bottoms that were covered in barf.

Luckily they took us in right away- lots of Benadryl and oxygen monitoring - he was doing much better.

Apparently Jayders is allergic to dairy. Fabulous.

We are going to set an appoint with an allergist and find out how bad it is. This outbreak he had was only after 2 oz of whole milk.

It was the scariest thing I have gone through and Im glad Ryan was home to be a calm driver :)

Jayden is acting a little loopy from the Benadryl. I pray this never happens again!!!

SAN DIEGO- DAY TWO

2009-06-26T23:52:00.006-06:00

The Hotel we were staying at did a free breakfast. I offered Ryan breakfast in bed since it was Fathers Day. ...Went down to the Hotel lobby filled a plate and brought it back to him. Vacations are about taking it easy, right???

Since it was Sunday there wasn't a whole lot we could do. We were planning on going to dinner with the whole family that evening but we had a whole day to kill. I was SO tired and was planning on taking a nap when Jayden went down for his nap... but he didn't take a nap.

Ryan, being the great husband he is, and not wanting to deal with my crankiness any longer offered to take Jayden for a walk so I could get some sleep.

I was lying there in bed, and as soon as I got to that relaxed point of falling asleep I would wake myself up thinking that Ryan and Jayden would be back any minute and I wouldn't be able to enjoy a nap... An hour passed of me doing this. I finally texted Ryan and told him to come back to the Hotel since I wasn't able to sleep. He was gone for another half hour. Apparently he had walked over two miles trying to give me enough time to sleep. I had been thinking he had just gone around the hotel... :) Again, what a sweet guy. And what a pain I wasn't able to sleep. ...Jayden didn't sleep either.

We were pretty close to the San Diego Temple so we decided to pay it a visit. BEAUTIFUL TEMPLE.

Jayders did take a nap on the way back to the hotel from the temple. 10 minutes ish??? At least HE wasn't grumpy :)

Now, one would think that a baby who didn't sleep the night before ... and hardly napped would be a PAIN IN THE BUM. Nope- not Jayden. Never cried. Occasionally he would act a little out of it... he was just taking it all in :)

We ended the day going over to the Beach House my Aunt and Uncle rented. Most of my dad's side of the family was there except for the two families stuck in traffic due to a huge accident in Nevada :(

We enjoyed BBQ chicken, delicious fruit and Ice Cream... good times!

SAN DIEGO- DAY ONE

2009-06-26T23:28:00.005-06:00

It has been 3 days since we got back and I miss the weather like crazy!! It was raining when we arrived but the rest of the days were sunny with highs in the 70s... PERFECT.

We were in San Diego for four days for a family reunion. It was great to relax! We were going to drive down to California, however after Memorial Day Weekend the thought of 8 hours in the car with Jayden seemed like TOO MUCH. So we decided to fly. Luckily the flights were pretty open so we were able to fly standby with NO problems.

We took my little sister up with us to help her escape an 8 hour drive with our four brothers.

Saturday was pretty boring. We arrived in San Diego to rain :( So we had lunch and checked into our hotel. It had a full kitchen so we went grocery shopping. Food is SO much more expensive in California. Im pretty sure the only exciting thing we did on Saturday was go to the grocery store... don't you want to go on vacation with us???

Saturday night was rough. Since Annese (my lil sis) was sleeping in our room the only place for the pack n' play

was RIGHT next to our bed. Jayden would NOT go to sleep. At last I took him on a 20 minute walk in the stroller around the hotel- where he finally drifted off.

Two hours later...

I fed him and put him back in the crib. Two hours later....

Same thing (No he wasn't hungry but it was the only way to get him to fall back asleep quickly)

And two hours later- the scenario repeated itself... Only this time when I put him back in the crib he didn't go back to sleep. It was four in the morning and I feel a small hand patting the back of my head. He was WIDE awake. Talking away... for over an hour.

Finally at 5:30 I went back to sleep. Only to be woken up at 8 to a baby ready to start the day.

Childrens Museum

2009-06-26T21:23:00.006-06:00

A couple of months ago my mother in law bought us a pass to the Children's museum in Salt Lake. I wasn't sure if Jayden was old enough to enjoy a museum at 10 months but I decided to give it a shot.
I took him, my little sister, and the two cuties I nanny one afternoon and they all had a ball. Jayden included! A few weeks ago I invited our beloved neighbor (who since betrayed us by moving to PROVO (JK!!) ) Kristen and her son Miles, who is just a couple of months older than Jayden to go to the museum. They had a blast once again. Amazing how much more fun you can have as a baby just one month older.. And I got some great pictures of the fun.

Lots of pictures :) Anyway- I have a pass to get FOUR people in for free so if anyone wants to go let me know! It's lots of fun!!!

The continued...

2009-06-07T23:02:00.005-06:00

It was finally decided to go to a campground. I can't remember what it was called- but it was nice and we had an isolated spot which was nice. There were horses right behind us which was kind of cool. They liked Jayden. Jayden wasn't so sure about them :)

He slept pretty well. I was really nervous about how he would do but he did just fine. He was really tired and that was good. Hopefully he will do just as well when we go to Cali soon! ... We put his pack n' play on the table... but come 6 am he ended back in bed with us... (bed hog.... just like his mama )

Saturday night it rained... Sunday it rained. I was walking Bella on Sunday morning and ran into a woman who lives in Green River who told me that people were being airlifted from the area we were planning on camping in. They couldn't get down that trail. So really- it was a blessing in disguise that we couldn't get up that road.

People were bummed- and praying for some sun to dry up the roads but there wasn't a lot of hope. We played a whole lotta Mafia. Fun times :)

Monday we woke up to sunshine. The guys went out to check out the road and said we would be able to do one river run before we headed home. It was my first time.. and a whole lot of fun.

On the way up

I stole these pictures from Shawnee's blog :)

Storm clouds were chasing us about 4 miles into the trip. As soon as we got our boat out the water it started to down pour. THANK YOU Lauren and Tara for watching... and rescuing our babies :)

Memorial Day Weekend

2009-06-04T18:05:00.001-06:00

Our friends invited us and a few other people to go up to Green River, Utah to camp and do some river rafting over Memorial Day Weekend.
We knew it was supposed to rain, but had full confidence in Chris who said, "It never rains in Green River..." :) Ryan's parents have a camping trailer that we borrowed. It was sweeeeet. Ryan's family took it camping when Ryan was a little boy 25 years ago!!!
The group of 3 trucks, 2 camping trailers, one flatbed trailer, a van, and a Subaru left around 11 'o' clock on Saturday morning. Since we were hauling the heaviest trailer we fell behind the group about the time we reached Utah Valley. Ryan likes to drive fast- so it was a little frustrating to him.

Jayden did pretty well on the drive ... ...until we hit Spanish Fork.
Then he was done with the car... too bad we had 3 more hours to go.

We finally get to Green River. It's pouring rain and Im crammed in the back seat of Ryan's truck with a cooler under my legs trying to keep Jayden entertained. To get to the campsite we had to go up a "dirt road" a ways. This is was happens to dirt roads when it rains: And that wasn't the worst of it.

The farther we got up the road the more narrow, and muddy, and up hill the road became. We were starting to slide a lot... at one point the road was so narrow we had a rock wall to our right and a cliff to the river on our left- just a couple feet to our left... with NO guard rails.

SCARY

Luckily I was on the right side of the truck and I couldn't see the river to my left very well. If I had been sitting on the left side I probably would have peed my pants. I knew if the trailer slid at all to the left - that we were done for.
I had my hand on Jayden's seat belt ready to unsnap him as soon as we fell into the river...
At the narrowest part of the road Chris (the beloved friend who planned this outing- and the guy driving the truck that was hauling the trailer full of rafts just in front of us) came over to our truck- covered in mud and told us the last thing Ryan wanted to hear: We had to go back.
Apparently there was a truck stuck ahead of us blocking the road. Basically these guys had to go backwards hauling 16 ft trailers down a narrow, muddy, winding road. And P.S. The truck Chris and Tara were driving refused to go in 4-wheel drive. Perfect timing!!!

So at that point my nerves had completely taken over and I decided it would be better for me to carry Jayden in the pouring rain and walk in the mud than to be in the truck that seemed to be destined to fall in the river (That's how I saw it anyway). Unfortunately through all the bumps driving up the dirt road the camping trailer door had permanently bolted shut- and I had no way to get a jacket or blanket for Jayden or myself. Thankfully Tara (love you Tara!!) let us borrow her sweatshirt.
We followed the truck heading backwards in the mud while I tried to figure out how long we would be able to survive living off Ryan's social security since he doesn't have Life Insurance.
... Luckily, Chris remembered the Ryan didn't have life insurance and helped Ryan back the truck down the muddy road. ;)

(After the muddy walk.)
Since the truck Chris was driving went out of four wheel drive... and Im not sure on all the details here... they had to abandon the trailer on the muddy road and come back for it later on Ryan's truck.. Im not sure how they pulled that one off. You'll have to wait for Tara's blog on the weekend.

Anyway- here are some photo highlights and videos: THE GUYS TALKING ABOUT THE SITUATION IN THE POURING RAIN... THIS IS AFTER WE ARRIVED AT A SAFE POINT TO TURN AROUND JAYDEN WAS BORED SO WE LET HIM TAKE THE WHEEL EVERYONE HAS FINALLY TURNED AROUND AND WE'RE READY TO GO FIND A CAMPSITE... WITH HOOKUPS. ....To be continued....